My Two Girls

Hi all,

Sophie called me the other day. She didn't sound cheerful like usual. She sounded forlorn and down. Every time I hear her voice that way, my heart sank. I wish I could be there to hold her or just to be next to her and tell her every thing's gonna be alright. She misses home and me too much. Like any college student, the assignment given was time consuming and required her full attention.

We talked every alternate days.She made it a point to allocate some time to have a chat with me. I told her she didn't have to do that. Her answers made me admire her even more so. This was what she said, "Ma, I know I don't have to call or text you every now and then. But I want to, even when we don't have much to say. You know why? Because if we start saying hello to one another once a week or once a month, soon we'll become like strangers.We felt awkward towards one another and then we start treating each other differently and the next thing we knew, we are at a loss for words to say to one another. Besides I need to hear your voice to calm me down.
My wise daughter. So, we talked every alternate day. Even when we have nothing much to say, she'll amuse me by singing a new song and made me guess who's the singer. Ahh..I am too old for all these new music and yet they (Sophie and her sister Sara) made me listen and recognise their favourite singers. At fifty, I am a hip mom. I listened to this new music as if I am one of them. Not that I'm overly crazy with modern music but it's alright.
I first heard about Nate of Fun band while she (Sophie) was in U.S last year. She made me listen to his song. (He has a slight resemblance to Mark Wahlberg) I think the song was "Some Nights" and I fell in love with his voice at once. A few weeks ago she introduced me to this English band, Passenger. Beautiful voice! His voice reminds me of James Blunt a little. She made me listen to endless songs she thought I might like.

Normally,she would carry on with her assignment ( lying on her bed with the i-Pad next to her) while talking to me on the phone. That day while talking,I heard an 'azan (calling for prayer for Muslim) clearly. I thought you were in the room, I said to her. She said I am.  "I downloaded the 'azan so that I wouldn't miss the prayer especially the Subh prayer. "(dawn prayer roughly between 5.50am ~ 06:50am) I was pleasantly surprised with what she did.
If one were to judge her, nobody would've believe that she has a great faith in our religion. She's vibrant, strong willed, liberal minded and usually she's in her jeans and T-Shirts. Her hair was let loose as she doesn't wear hijab. At nineteen, she still doesn't have a boyfriend. When I asked her why, she said the boys looked too pretty and if I were to go out with them, most probably I would end up baby-sitting them!
As far as I remember, she started praying five times a day since she was fifteen. She was about to sit for one of the important exams then.
She never skipped the fasting during Ramadhan month except when necessary, she prayed five times daily, and nowadays she recite the Quran (thanks to i-Pad) just so it stays afresh inside her.
Why am I elaborating about the good side of her? I never intended to sound bias or full of myself but rather because I was pissed with one of her school teachers some time ago. I shouldn't bring it up but I just can't let go of the remarks she said of Sophie.
This teacher was Sara's teacher as well. One day she said to Sara, "the hijab has to be wore at all times not only during school days. And your sister, Sophie, was not doing that since she returned from U.S."
To me, such words was not right to be uttered by a religious teacher because for one, Sophie never had her hair covered even before she left for the U.S. Her words bruised my heart.
What we put on doesn't make who we are. The teacher should find a better approach if she were to gain some respect from her peers.
I taught my children since they were little, do what you want to do and do it from your heart with sincerity. Draw a line between right and wrong. Then you'll be just fine throughout your lives.

Both she and Sara adhered to these words and they looked fine to me. Sara was a big contrast compared to her sister. Oh yes, she's a chatterbox at home but she was a no nonsense person as well. Both of us (Sophie and I) were a little afraid of her. We called her "ustazah", means religious teacher. Very prim and proper. You know, she will proof read and check the content of my post before I publish it. If she find in any way I am exaggerating especially about her, she'd make sure I change it.
She pulled face whenever I used foul language especially when driving. Whenever I bought something, she would read closely the content of the said items, checking if its halal or non-halal for us to consume. She would perform her prayer on the dot. Never missed even once. She'd hate it if she misses even one of the prayers.
She had become more attached to me since the absence of Sophie from home and I her.

She is currently sitting for the final exam. Today is the last day of the exam, the Biology paper. She already sat for her English paper three weeks ago. In that paper they had to choose from a few topics given. She chose one topic that had to be ended "....and so I became a better person."
I felt honoured and proud when she told me she chose the topic because of me. She wrote the essay based on my experience. "You know what I said about you in the essay ma?" she asked. I said no, why don't you enlighten me and tell me. She said I wrote, my mom went through many hardships throughout her life and that is one of the things I admired about her.
She also wrote that I was a little tomboyish, doesn't like make ups and hated it when another lady driver overtook me while driving. Does she really has to write down that I am tomboyish?
Unperturbed to my frowning, she went on, "She listens to my Korean music and memorize all nine faces of Girls' Generation girl group."
Of course I'd memorize each and every face of these girls since she'd make me guess who's who by producing pictures of them from the day they debuted till this day.
You think I can get away from her harassment to watch the video clip with her? She initialized a barter system with me. Every thursday night, she will massage my whole body, and in return I will have to watch the girl's group video clip, for ONE hour,  mind you. She could have transformed me into a K-Pop fan had I not been this old. Of course I accepted the offer as I benefited from it as well. Good massage at your own home!

The other day we met an old friend who now lives in Saudi and is doing very well over there. As we were meeting him later in the evening, I made Sara followed us not trusting to leave her alone  at home (too many crime nowadays). During our catching up time, he suddenly asked Sara what does she want to be after school. Without hesitation she said I am thinking of taking up medicine. Why he asked? Because I want my mom to stay healthy always.
There was another time when both of us were alone at home and I was feeling sad and down on that day, I said do you think I've raised you all, the way it should be? Had I failed in any way of raising up the four of you? Her unexpected reply was this, "Mama, you've done the best any mother could have done. I am worried one day when I have a family or children of my own,I will not be able to bring them up as good as you did to us, if not better or will I fail big time."

The few words that she uttered and the story she wrote about me in her essay made me think how lucky I was to have these two beautiful, sensitive creatures to be my daughters. I mean, as a mother, what else do you ask for? My eyes brimmed with tears that threaten to roll down. I told them if it hadn't been for their encouragement all these while, I may not be as strong as they'd like me to be.

My only worry now is, they will soon be on their own. How will I cope without them beside me. I don't believe in mothers being best friends to their children because to me parents are there to protect them, to educate them and to love them unconditionally. But in my case, I feel as if they were my best friends because they were always there for me,come rain or shine. They had never asked for anything except my love for them. And for that, I will love them till the last breath was taken away from me.

Have a great day everybody,
Rose
27th.Nov '13