School Holidays and Weddings

Hi all,

I am back! Feeling great after a lousy bout last week. For Malaysian, this is the time of the year where headaches and school holidays bind together equalizing it to total  empty pockets.
For my overseas readers, Malaysian final school term usually ended somewhere in the second week of November and  new term commences just after New Year. So that roughly gives us about one and a half month of school holidays to think and plan what to do, where to go and how to keep the house from falling apart.
The headaches began for parents as soon as the holidays start, especially for working parents. Where to take the children to? One child may want to visit the big city. The other one would readily agreed to mountain climbing. Mum and dad would be happy just to be at home. No expenses needed! The big sister, oh dear, she sure got some expensive ideas. Let's travel overseas. "Mum, dad, lets just go to Australia. It's not that far  away from here." Okaaay..it's not that far away. Then, Dad might have replied, "What's wrong within the country? Still many places we haven't explore." The answer he got, " Dad, all my friends are travelling overseas, some are going to France, some to Egypt, and you expect us to go where, Pahang?" I'd rather be at home STUDYING!! Studying? Literally taken, that sounds good but it may just be a spoken words with no action.
How come it is so different nowadays compared to our time back then? I am sure it wasn't too long ago when we ourselves were young. Or was it? Oh, never mind, whatever it is we were easy to please then. Our parents would just bundle us in a packed old station wagon and drop us right at grandma's doorsteps. Grandma's happy and we're happy. End of story.

Then, there's preparation prior to school re opens. New school uniforms, new stationery, new shoes and etc..etc..
And for those who celebrate Christmas, oh, I can't help thinking how are they going to survive until month end. I am talking about the average people, like me. Best solutions, no new uniforms and no holidays!

This is also the time for couples to get married. If any one of the deeply in love couple were to choose which month to get hitched, they most probably chose within these two months. Getting married, especially among the Malays are a big event. I am sure it's a big thing for everybody but for the Malays, close family involvement were greatly appreciated.

Allow me to elaborate a little on how our wedding goes. I will start with the conveniences of wedding done in November or December. Close relatives and friends were informed and invited at least a month or two prior to the wedding date itself. This is so they could  apply leaves (for those working) or try to free themselves from any other commitment on that special date.
Once freed from working commitment, it will be much easier to plan the trip back to where the wedding takes place since the children will be on school holidays as well.

As done years and years ago, many parents of the brides and grooms still prefer to organize the wedding themselves and done at the comfort of their homes just as their parents and grand parents did way before.
This is the time for re bonding. Sometimes after years of not seeing your cousin, suddenly he or she was at the same place as you and we had at least one or two glorious days to catch up on old stories. This is when sometimes snide remarks such as "You're so fat and wobbly" or "Look at you, I forgot how short you were" can be heard. But no offence taken since we were so busy catching up on stories.
This reunion happened coz we would usually cramped in at the host's house to help out on wedding preparation. Doesn't matter if the house is not in the condition of receiving a few families at one time.

Nowadays many would seek the convenient of food caterer to provide food on wedding day. Some wedding still maintain the old ways., that is cooking being done by friends and local community or by local cook. It's not easy to cook for at least 600 people. That is average count for the invitation. And the best of all, it's being done for free. Friends and neighbours can also be seen helping out in the kitchen department cleaning up beef, cutting vegetables or boiling eggs or whatever things that needed to be done. In Malay we called it "gotong-royong" or helping out voluntarily. The whole village will be there to help in whatever way they can.
 Of course the host, at the end of the day would put aside some token to be given to the cook but for others like us, who were there to help out on spring cleaning, gifts wrapping for guests and food preparation, everything were done sincerely and voluntarily.

Normally,invitation were given out to at least 600 ~ 1000 people. The hosts had to be sure that food will be sufficient for each and every guests that flowed in from lunch time till about six p.m.

This is "akad nikah session" Once the Imam and the groom shook hands,  it confirmed that he is now legally married.

In Islam it should be done moderately but in Malaysia, it has become a custom rather than ostentation. The parents' of either bride or groom will be standing in front of their houses to receive guests. From guests part, upon arriving or departing, a small amount of money rolled inside a little envelope were discreetly passed into the parent's hand as a gift. That is sure to take off some financial burden off their shoulders.

Photos courtesy from my niece, Ika & Ajmain

Wedding anywhere in this world is not cheap.

Wedding day: Bride & groom sitting on a dais for guests to witness that they are now husband & wife

So, who else is having headaches this school holidays? Like it or not, we will have to face it with a big smile. Because that's what we call parenting.

Have a nice evening,
Rose
4th.December '12