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Saturday 15 August 2015

What Will Be Sara's Choice?

Dear all,

I sure do been missing from the virtual world lately, don't I?
Well, to tell you the truth, I hate my existing laptop right now. It is moving ever too slowly for me to do anything, let alone do my writing. That is why I am kind of hibernating in my own world.

The laptop is still slow but I am feeling bored. I need to do something especially today, since nobody is at home craving for my attention.

Today, I have something that has been playing on my mind for the past two weeks. I feel I need to share this situation that I am in with you guys out there.
Remember I sent Sara to a prep science college last year in Sending Sara? Well, she had completed her study there last April. A few months ago, her result came out and she passed her final exam with flying colors. Being a mom, of course I am proud of her. So proud that I am beginning to doubt if she is truly my daughter. I mean, I flunk my math and science big time whereas she did very well in that two subjects.

Anyway, last week she received an offer from a university in the United Kingdom to study Physics at Southampton University starting this coming September. On top of that, her four year study there are being sponsored in full by the Ministry of Education. It's an offer hard to decline right? I am sure that's what everybody would say or think.

So guys, what do you think I do? I left the decision to her. She had to decide since this is her future. Initially she was about seventy percent agreeable to accepting the offer when suddenly she made a 360 degree turn and said she may not want to go and study there. Reason being, four years is far too long and she worried too much about my welfare, meaning she is worry that my cancer might recur within that four year.
Another reason I think is about money. By the way, for many, it's kind of  taboo for people to talk openly about money. In this case, I feel it's only right for me to share with others on how we tackle this matter.
Since we don't have any savings whatsoever, it is almost impossible for us to come up with an estimated amount of RM6000.00 prior to her departure. Visa alone to UK required 322.00 pound which is equivalent to about RM 1700.00. This amount does not include health insurance, passport, medical check up, winter clothing (Malaysia is an all year round sunny country) and her other necessities while there. However all these documentation and departure preparation will be reimbursed by the ministry. The only issue here is we simply can't come up with that amount on our own. So both my husband and I opted to take up a personal loan to fund her at this initial state.

Then, last Tuesday (11th.August) she received another offer. This time it's from our local university, UKM. And this time she was offered to take up medicine. In our country, once a student was offered a place to take up medicine, those who graduated between 3.5 CGPA ( I think) to 4.0 CGPA, they are eligible to receive a full scholarship from Public Service Department for the whole five years of studies.

Now comes the dilemma. She is indecisive between the two courses. Actually, come to think of it, she never showed any inclination towards anything, I mean career-wise. She never came up to me and said, Ma, I want to become a so or so when I grow up. She just didn't seem to have any ambition at all. Oh, she did come to me once or twice and said she wanted to be a professional gamer or Radio DJ. But I never took her seriously because she is being tongue-in-cheek with me.
For this course, we will have to come up with about RM3000.00. Subsequently, the scholarship will come, most probably after her enrolment.

Now, truly the decision and choice are all up to her. She asked for our input and ideas and finally she made up her mind. She is going to let go of the offer to study in the United Kingdom and accept the offer to become a doctor. She said, she is more familiar with this profession since I have been in and out of hospital throughout her teenage years and she hoped to become a good and dedicated doctor so that she will have a chance to attend to me in the future years should I ever need a medical attention ever again.

Me? I am happy with whatever choice she made. After all I am her mother. Money? What's there to be afraid of? Almost every other day, I walked around with five ringgit in my purse and I still manage to feed and clothe my family comfortably. I am happier now than I was five years ago.

Whoever is in the same situation as I do, worry not. We live our lives within our means. We love our family beyond our means and we support them all the way way beyond our means. That is what life is all about to me. After all, I am going to be a mother to a doctor in the making, if God wills it. And who knows, one of these days, Sophie's dream of becoming a Travel Journalist may come true. I will become a mother to a TV personality. And I can become a mother to a pastry chef and a mother to a hotel manager. There's no harm in dreaming a good dream for our children.
Gloating? Maybe a little. Which mother wouldn't? I would prefer to say proud or take pride in, instead of gloating. Mothers do that. They gloat all the time about their children. Don't believe me? Open your Facebook and see for yourself.
I am just being happy for my children, that's all.  Just who knows what tomorrow brings.

Until then, have a pleasant day and be good people. Be healthy and be safe.

Love,
Rose
15th.August '15

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