Assalamualaikum semua,
Dah selalu sangat saya dengar golongan sejenis dengan saya (orang perempuan lah kiranya tu) merungut, masakan dia orang tak menjadi. Nak kata tak ikut resipi, dah ikut tapi masih tak dapat rasa seperti yang diharapkan.
Jom kita cuba fikir dan rungkaikan sebab musababnya.
Yang pertama : Bila kita tengok dalam TV dia orang masak, nampak gah, menarik dan sedap. Jangan tertipu, kadang-kadang dia orang pun sama macam kita tapi disebabkan dah dibuat editing, makanya nampak elok dan sedaplah makanan tu. Lagipun di dalam TV, dia orang boleh ulang dan buat lagi sehingga perfect manakala kat rumah, kita tak akan melakukan perkara sebegitu sebab kita tak suka membazir. Jadi kita sekeluarga akan makan juga makanan itu walupun terlebih masin ataupun masam.
Moral of the story? Jangan risau, masakan yang dihidangkan didalam Tv itu, belum tentu sedapnya seperti yang diharapkan.
Yang kedua : Apabila memasak, kita harus masak dengan hati yang ikhlas dan ada perasaan suka didalam diri kita. Ini pesan orang-orang tua dulu-dulu, dan saya percaya dengan pesanan ini. Cuba kita fikir secara logik. Kalau kita masak dalam keadaan tertekan dan menyampah sebab terpaksa siang ikan, bersihkan ayam, potong bawang dan sebagainya, perasaan ini terbawa-bawa sewaktu kita memasak. Jadi time nak masukkan bahan-bahan perasa yang penting seperti garam, asam dan gula, kita main campak ja. Lantaklah janji aku dah masak untuk dia orang makan. Hah! Ada dak yang berperasaan macam tu? Bila dah macam tu, macam mana masakan kita nak jadi sedap? Kita sendiri pun tak happy dengan product kita, macam mana kita nak harapkan orang yang memakannya menyukai masakan kita?
Jadi, cubalah untuk punyai sikit minat didalam seni memasak ni. Jangan tak tahu, memasak pun adalah salah satu cabang seni. Ingat senang ke nak kumpulkan semua jenis bahan mentah menjadi satu bentuk makanan yang sedap dan lazat.
Yang ketiga : Memasak memerlukan kesabaran dan latihan. Kita kena selalu rajin kedapur. Kalau 2 minggu sekali baru turun dapur, agak payah bagi kita untuk master-kan diri didalam sesuatu jenis masakan. Katakan lah kita nak masak ayam masak merah, tak mungkin kita akan masak setiap hari atau setiap minggu. Paling tidak pun 2 minggu sekali. Jadi bila 2minggu sekali, kadang-kadang kita terlupa apa yang harus dimasukkan. Eh tadi aku dah blend sekali tak lengkuas? Ataupun apa rempah ratus yang harus digunakan untuk masakan ni?
Faham tak maksud saya? Maknanya kita akan terlupa apa yang harus dimasukkan didalam sesuatu masakan itu, dan itu lah antara perkara yang menjejaskan rasa masakan yang kita cuba masak.
Yang keempat : Kalau kita boleh berlebih apabila tiba masa dapat gaji untuk shopping, kenapa tidak kita berlebih sikit untuk membeli bahan mentah yang baru dan segar. Sampai hari ni, saya hanya akan membeli ikan yang segar sahaja. Kalau saya tengok ikan tu dah merah mata sikit, saya tak akan membelinya walaupun stok dirumah dah habis. Ikan sebegini, kalau kita beli dan masak juga akan menjejaskan rasa masakan kita. Umpamanya ikan sebegini digoreng, kita dapat bau dari minyak gorengan itu tadi yang ikan ini hampir busuk. Ikan sebegini juga mudah melekat dikuali. Jadi, cuba elakkan dari membeli ikan yang dah lembik dan *benyai*. Percaya atau tidak, saya akan memandu ke Kuala Selangor semata-mata untuk mencari ikan dan makanan laut yang lain yang segar.
Yang kelima : Masak masakan yang simple dan menjadi pilihan keluarga. Mulakan masakan yang mudah seperti ayam masak kicap. Cuba semua jenis cara memasak ayam masak kicap. Ada separuh orang, masak kicap dengan memasukkan kerisik, sementara separuh lagi mungkin menggunakan sos tiram. Apapun, cuba semua cara dan jadikan ia hidangan yang kerap dihidang supaya kita menjadi master didalam hidangan ini. Selepas dah 'terer' dalam sajian ini, cuba tukar ke masak lemak pula, umpamanya. Dan begitulah seterusnya. dengan cara begini, sekuran-kurangnya apabila ada sedara mara atau rakan bertandang kerumah, kita boleh hidangkan 'masterpiece' kita ini kepada mereka. Dari situ, kita dapat menilai daripada feedback mereka yang telah merasa hasil air tangan kita.
Yang keenam : Jangan cuba mengubah identiti masakan kita. Katakanlah anda dah pro dalam memasak mee kari. Semua orang memuji mee kari anda sangat sedap. Pada satu hari, anda pergi makan kat rumah seseorang yang kuah mee karinya mengalahkan kuah yang anda selalu sediakan. Anda berjaya dapatkan resipi daripada orang itu. Apabila anda pulang kerumah, anda mencuba cara penyediaan seperti yang anda makan dirumah orang itu. It may turn out to be okay tapi ia bukanlah cara penyediaan yang selalu anda buat. Jadi apabila anda mencuba juga membuatnya, ia bukanlah seperti yang diharapkan. Hasilnya hanya ok sahaja dan anda pula akan kehilangan identiti kuah mee kari anda yang digemari oleh semua sebelum ini. Anda boleh mengambil sedikit sebanyak bahan-bahan yang digunakan oleh orang itu untuk menambah baik masakan anda tetapi bukan dengan mengambil bulat-bulat resipi orang itu. Jadi diri sendiri dan simpan identiti anda.
Yang ketujuh : Jangan dengar terlalu banyak nasihat daripada 'chef-chef' disekeliling anda. Ini kerana setiap orang punyai cara tersendiri. Mungkin didalam masakan kari dagingnya, dia akan masukkan tairu tapi anda tidak. Kemudian ada pendapat dari seorang lagi yang hanya menggunakan air tetapi tidak langsung menggunakan santan. Ini semua akan mengelirukan anda. Kalau anda dah biasa masak kari daging tanpa menggunakan tairu tetapi menggunakan santan, anda teruskan dengan cara anda sehingga anda dah benar-benar master didalam membuat kari daging ini. Setelah itu, anda boleh mula ber-experiment dengan bahan baru untuk memantapkan lagi sajian anda.
Yang kelapan : Apa jua yang kita masak, harus diingat, api dapur memainkan peranan yang amat penting untuk masakan kita. Tengok juga jenis kuali atau periuk yang dipakai. Contohnya, kalau menggunakan non stick pan, boleh dikuatkan api sedikit apabila menggoreng ikan. Tetapi sekiranya anda menggunakan kuali nipis biasa, apinya harus sederhana perlahan. Kalau tidak, makan nasi dengan ikan hanguslah jawabnya.
Begitu juga bila nak masak sayur campur. Api harus kuat dan garang, barulah sayur kita menjadi
lebih crunchy dan enak dimakan.
Kalau nak reneh sup, pasang api perlahan. Biarkan saja diatas dapur berjam-jam, tak jadi masalah, malah akan menghasilkan sup yang lebih enak dan lembut dagingnya.
Yang terakhir dan terpenting : Kenapa sambal tumis kita kurang 'kick'? Kenapa kari kita cair tak seperti kari mamak. Jawabnya senang saja. Bila kita bercakap tentang sambal tumis, maknanya base bagi masakan ini ialah cili. Jadi wajib dilebihkan cili didalam hidangan ini. Kalau kurang cili bukan nama sambal lah. Begitu juga nak buat kari. Wajib rempah kari yang lebih, bukan santan yang lebih. Sebab tu orang melayu kalau masak kari, ianya menjadi kari lemak sebab lebih santan dari rempah. Sama juga bila kita nak buat masak lemak. Dah tentu-tentu perlukan santan yang banyak. Tak mungkin kita pakai air yang banyak sebab kalau macam tu masak lemak ikan patin kita bertukar menjadi masak singgang ikan patin. Apa lagi contoh yang ada? Oh ya, sambal belacan. Kita perlukan cili dan belacan yang banyak iaitu melebihi bahan lain. Begitulah seterusnya dengan masakan yang lain.
Itulah sedikit sebanyak pengetahuan yang saya ada yang ingin saya kongsikan disini untuk kita sama-sama mencuba dirumah.
Saya tahu ramai yang akan bagi alasan bekerja dan tak sempat nak masak. Jangan, jangan bagi alasan tu sebab kalau itulah alasan yang kita gunakan, sampai bila-bila pun kita tak akan dapat menjadi tukang masak yang cekap dan hebat.
Saya juga pernah bekerja sampai 2012 dulu. Saya yang harus hantar anak kesekolah, saya yang harus mengemas dan memasak, saya juga yang harus menjadi manager di pejabat dan juga bertugas sebagai driver dipejabat sendiri apabila kekurangan pekerja. Pukul lima petang, sewaktu balik dari kerja, kadang-kadang saya singgah di pasar dan beli semua keperluan untuk memasak.
Saya siang semua bahan mentah dan simpan didalam freezer. Saya blender semua bahan seperti bwg putih/ bwg merah/halia dan simpan juga dibahagian chiller. Hari yang saya nak masak, saya cuma perlu defrostkan bahan-bahan tadi dan ambil keluar bawang yang siap diblender. Dalam masa tak sampai 45 minit saya sempat menyediakan tiga jenis hidangan iaitu, kari ikan, sambal tumis udang dan sayur.
Kalau saya boleh, kenapa tidak anak-anak yang masih muda diluar sana melakukan perkara yang sama?
Dengan cara begini, kita dapat jimat perbelanjaan membeli makanan diluar. Dan kita mengajar secara tak langsung agar anak-anak dan keluarga membiasakan makan makanan dirumah yang lebih terjamin kebersihan dan kualiti masakan itu sendiri.
Salam dari saya,
Rose
29th.Oct '15
Thursday, 29 October 2015
Monday, 26 October 2015
Death Needs No Invitation
Hello all,
Last week, when I was about to reach home, an ambulance passed me by with speed and siren that screamed urgency. It came out from my housing area. I didn't give much attention to it as the area that I live currently has about 1500 families.
Once I got home, I started to make some breakfast for my husband. That was when I heard a knock on the front door. My husband answered the door and after a brief mumbled conversation that can be heard from my kitchen, I heard him calling my name. I went to where he was standing and poked my head outside the door to see who was talking to him.
It turned out my next door neighbour, Yati, was here conveying message that my other next door, Umi (on my right) passed away just a while ago. I was speechless. She was so young. She is 36 if I am not mistaken.
I found out later, she was having some kind of stomach pain only that morning while preparing her children for school. The children were still so young. The oldest is merely twelve while the youngest is probably 4 or five years old. She was already unconscious when the ambulance got here.
Her body was send back home where her parents were. Thus I have not seen or speak to her husband to express my condolence over his loss to this day.
Being a Muslim, we will usually perform a Quran recitation as a send-off gift for the dead. So, later that evening, at about 8.45pm, Yati and I, walked to the other block building for this recitation. We waited until all the ladies were there before finally our religious teacher started with a little prayer.
Just a few minutes after that, Yati's daughter was waving her from outside signalling her to come out. Yati got up and went out to speak to her daughter. She came back and stooped down close to my ear and whispered she had to leave. Her father just passed away. We ended up recite the Holy Quran for two losses in one day.
I was dumbstruck. I don't know what to say. I was simply at a loss for words. I had two deaths in one day even though none of them were related to me, but both of them were my next door neighbours. Yati's house is on my left whereas Umi was on my right. Out of 1500 families that live here, two deaths happened to occur under my nose.
I was quiet the entire evening. My mind kept going back to Umi's children. How would they cope without their mother. Who will do the sending and fetching them to school? Who is going to cook for them? What if they fall sick? Who will do the ironing for them? Can their dad care for them? By the way, he's a policeman.
I mean, I don't underestimate men doing chores that wives usually do at home. But men normally work at irregular hours. They would leave home with the sun and got home with the moon. For me, my heart went out to the little one. She is maybe five. I am certain she would long to have her mother's arm wrapped around her little body at night to tuck her in. To listen to her mum's consoling voice the moment she got up from sleep. Those were little luxuries that she may never experienced again for the rest of her lives.
And Yati had her regrets too. Her dad was sick for quite some time. He lived up north that took about five to six hours to reach. She told me she kept putting off to return home and visit her frail father because the children were still in school and everybody was busy. She didn't say much more than that but I think I could fathom what's inside her mind. That she should've gone home when her dad wanted her too. Putting it off could've make her regret her decision for not prioritizing her dad over their busy schedule.
Who are we to judge? We make the same decisions every now and then and live to regret for as long as we live. For many of us, we thought and regard death as something vague and unreal. That seemed so far away and that it will never occur to us, not at this instant anyway.
This is where we're dead wrong. Death came uninvited. Instead of trying to run away from it, we should prepare ourselves to face death in our own way.
When I say, prepare ourselves to face death, it doesn't mean we should literally wait for death to come with an open arms. What I am saying is, we should talk to our family/families what step should be taken if death had present itself at our doorsteps. Have a plan ahead of death. Prepare a will that will benefit our family. I am stating this because we, the Malays seldom prepare a will for the family. Often this practice led to many unwanted scene among siblings and relatives alike.
Talk to our children that they were to fend for themselves once we are gone and keep united and close the bonding that exists between them.
In doing so, we had prepare our children for the unknown. And had we were to be dead in the next month or two, they had at the very least, have some inkling as to what was going on and what should be done next. Write down a list of names in case of emergency and their phone numbers. Make them get to know their grandparents or aunts and uncles. Bring them to visit the relatives every once in a while. This may seem trivial at this moment but will come in handy when in crisis.
Oh you know what? This is unbelievable. As I was writing this blog, the husband of my late neighbour, just knocked on my door. He's here to inform me of his wife passing. I was close to tears when I saw the little one hugging his father's leg. Oh, the little one is a boy, not a girl.
He's trying to get a transfer back to his hometown since he has nobody to look after the children here.
Whatever it is, I hope they find happiness elsewhere and may Allah have mercy on them.
It's 18:05 now and it's time for me to get the dinner ready. Stay safe people and take care.
Lots of love from me,
Rose
26th.Oct '15
Last week, when I was about to reach home, an ambulance passed me by with speed and siren that screamed urgency. It came out from my housing area. I didn't give much attention to it as the area that I live currently has about 1500 families.
Once I got home, I started to make some breakfast for my husband. That was when I heard a knock on the front door. My husband answered the door and after a brief mumbled conversation that can be heard from my kitchen, I heard him calling my name. I went to where he was standing and poked my head outside the door to see who was talking to him.
It turned out my next door neighbour, Yati, was here conveying message that my other next door, Umi (on my right) passed away just a while ago. I was speechless. She was so young. She is 36 if I am not mistaken.
I found out later, she was having some kind of stomach pain only that morning while preparing her children for school. The children were still so young. The oldest is merely twelve while the youngest is probably 4 or five years old. She was already unconscious when the ambulance got here.
Her body was send back home where her parents were. Thus I have not seen or speak to her husband to express my condolence over his loss to this day.
Being a Muslim, we will usually perform a Quran recitation as a send-off gift for the dead. So, later that evening, at about 8.45pm, Yati and I, walked to the other block building for this recitation. We waited until all the ladies were there before finally our religious teacher started with a little prayer.
Just a few minutes after that, Yati's daughter was waving her from outside signalling her to come out. Yati got up and went out to speak to her daughter. She came back and stooped down close to my ear and whispered she had to leave. Her father just passed away. We ended up recite the Holy Quran for two losses in one day.
I was dumbstruck. I don't know what to say. I was simply at a loss for words. I had two deaths in one day even though none of them were related to me, but both of them were my next door neighbours. Yati's house is on my left whereas Umi was on my right. Out of 1500 families that live here, two deaths happened to occur under my nose.
I was quiet the entire evening. My mind kept going back to Umi's children. How would they cope without their mother. Who will do the sending and fetching them to school? Who is going to cook for them? What if they fall sick? Who will do the ironing for them? Can their dad care for them? By the way, he's a policeman.
I mean, I don't underestimate men doing chores that wives usually do at home. But men normally work at irregular hours. They would leave home with the sun and got home with the moon. For me, my heart went out to the little one. She is maybe five. I am certain she would long to have her mother's arm wrapped around her little body at night to tuck her in. To listen to her mum's consoling voice the moment she got up from sleep. Those were little luxuries that she may never experienced again for the rest of her lives.
And Yati had her regrets too. Her dad was sick for quite some time. He lived up north that took about five to six hours to reach. She told me she kept putting off to return home and visit her frail father because the children were still in school and everybody was busy. She didn't say much more than that but I think I could fathom what's inside her mind. That she should've gone home when her dad wanted her too. Putting it off could've make her regret her decision for not prioritizing her dad over their busy schedule.
Who are we to judge? We make the same decisions every now and then and live to regret for as long as we live. For many of us, we thought and regard death as something vague and unreal. That seemed so far away and that it will never occur to us, not at this instant anyway.
This is where we're dead wrong. Death came uninvited. Instead of trying to run away from it, we should prepare ourselves to face death in our own way.
When I say, prepare ourselves to face death, it doesn't mean we should literally wait for death to come with an open arms. What I am saying is, we should talk to our family/families what step should be taken if death had present itself at our doorsteps. Have a plan ahead of death. Prepare a will that will benefit our family. I am stating this because we, the Malays seldom prepare a will for the family. Often this practice led to many unwanted scene among siblings and relatives alike.
Talk to our children that they were to fend for themselves once we are gone and keep united and close the bonding that exists between them.
In doing so, we had prepare our children for the unknown. And had we were to be dead in the next month or two, they had at the very least, have some inkling as to what was going on and what should be done next. Write down a list of names in case of emergency and their phone numbers. Make them get to know their grandparents or aunts and uncles. Bring them to visit the relatives every once in a while. This may seem trivial at this moment but will come in handy when in crisis.
Oh you know what? This is unbelievable. As I was writing this blog, the husband of my late neighbour, just knocked on my door. He's here to inform me of his wife passing. I was close to tears when I saw the little one hugging his father's leg. Oh, the little one is a boy, not a girl.
He's trying to get a transfer back to his hometown since he has nobody to look after the children here.
Whatever it is, I hope they find happiness elsewhere and may Allah have mercy on them.
It's 18:05 now and it's time for me to get the dinner ready. Stay safe people and take care.
Lots of love from me,
Rose
26th.Oct '15
Wednesday, 7 October 2015
Marriage And Anniversary
Good morning people!
After a hearty breakfast and a mug of scalding hot coffee, I am all spruced up to face yet another day of my life.
My wedding anniversary is within this month. That anniversary will officially make me married to my man of 27 years. What do you think of that? Cool huh?
What was that? How did I stay married for that long? I can hear that question playing inside your head about my marriage. You may become inquisitive and think to yourself, "Does she fight a lot? Does she get bored with that same person? How is her married life?"...etc..etc..
Actually come to think of it, I've known my husband for almost 32 years. We dated back in the early 80's for five years before we finally got married and settle down.
Do I get bored with my husband? Hard to believe, but no, I don't get bored with him. It might be because all our lives, we worked in the service industry (hotel line and later travel agency). We got to meet lots of people with diverse background. And everyday, we had to prepare itinerary for the next day for our guests/customers. We have many things to talk about beside our domestic lives.
I probably get annoyed with him at time because he is easily satisfied with how things are running at home. He used to be full of enthusiasm and bold.
But now, he's toned down and took a slower pace in everything he does. This saddened me and sometimes I find myself withdrawing away a little from him.
But worry not, we'll work out our differences eventually. That is what marriage is all about.
Early in our marriage, we used to fight on frequent basis. He was young, I was young and we both worked hard to meet the increasing needs for our family. Like any other married couple, we faced many ups and downs and turbulences that strike us like a hurricane. There was one time that we thought of going into our own separate ways. But we fought back our differences and now as you can see, we are still together and strongly bonded.
To this day, the children have never seen us arguing over anything, well , maybe on one or two occasions, but that is all. In fact they don't even know if both me and my husband were not on talking term.
If I am not happy with him over anything, I keep my distance and speak to him only when necessary and he likewise. The best thing is, we both know what the other spouse is feeling. It's like twins. Only thing is, he would treat the problem like any other day. And me being me, would keep it inside my heart and let the feeling of discontent and dismay troubling my daily system.
What makes us compatible? I dare say because I am the one with lots of patience whereas he has a temper that I hate. Normally when he lost his head over something, I would get out of his way and keep quiet.
To keep a marriage this long, we had to swallow some of the things that we dislike about our spouse. Believe me, there is no easy way to keep a good marriage this long. Both of us had to work hand in hand together even though it hurts our feelings..at time.
To young married couples out there, here are some tips on how to keep your marriage works:
1) Respect your husband even if his earning is lesser than what you're getting.
2) Respect him even though he may not be as smart as you are.
3) Man has ego, big ego. Try not to criticize or demean them especially in front of other people.
4) I truly believe a way to a man's heart is through is his stomach. Try to cook once in a while. They would adore you for that.
5) Men were born hunters. Don't make yourself too available. They'll get bored. They love their women to be a little independent, not submissive, who loved and cared for them yet not clingy. Believe me, men are actually boys trapped in an adult body.
6) Don't spoil them too much like paying bills, sending and fetching your children from school. Marriage involved 2 people. They had to do their share too. Once you start doing things for them, that's the day, you'll regret forever because men are notoriously known for their laziness. Teach them responsibility at the early age of your marriage.
7) Throughout the marriage, you'll notice many flaws and shortcomings from his part. Try to absorb it if you can. These petty little things could lead to a big fight if left unattended or if you are being too vocal about it. Take the safest measure, compromise. Also keep in mind, we may have our flaws too that he find it repulsive.
There, hope some of the tips is good enough to bind the love that each one of you have towards one another.
I know, there were times that we wish we could be alone and nothing to care about, but then again, who doesn't? Marriage is an institution that requires constant ploughing and watering to keep it green and healthy. Many would opt for the easy way out, that is separation or divorce. Yes, it worked for most people but we tend to hurt the heart of our loved ones, namely our children. They become the obvious victims when divorce occurred.
Whatever differences we may have, do the best we can to work things out amicably. Remember, we were once head over heels in love with each other, why can't we be nice for just a little longer for the sake of our children?
So people, have some mercy for your children before you make any decisions that you may regret later.
Have a pleasant evening everyone. Good nite!
Rose
7th.october ' 15
After a hearty breakfast and a mug of scalding hot coffee, I am all spruced up to face yet another day of my life.
My wedding anniversary is within this month. That anniversary will officially make me married to my man of 27 years. What do you think of that? Cool huh?
What was that? How did I stay married for that long? I can hear that question playing inside your head about my marriage. You may become inquisitive and think to yourself, "Does she fight a lot? Does she get bored with that same person? How is her married life?"...etc..etc..
Actually come to think of it, I've known my husband for almost 32 years. We dated back in the early 80's for five years before we finally got married and settle down.
Do I get bored with my husband? Hard to believe, but no, I don't get bored with him. It might be because all our lives, we worked in the service industry (hotel line and later travel agency). We got to meet lots of people with diverse background. And everyday, we had to prepare itinerary for the next day for our guests/customers. We have many things to talk about beside our domestic lives.
I probably get annoyed with him at time because he is easily satisfied with how things are running at home. He used to be full of enthusiasm and bold.
But now, he's toned down and took a slower pace in everything he does. This saddened me and sometimes I find myself withdrawing away a little from him.
But worry not, we'll work out our differences eventually. That is what marriage is all about.
Early in our marriage, we used to fight on frequent basis. He was young, I was young and we both worked hard to meet the increasing needs for our family. Like any other married couple, we faced many ups and downs and turbulences that strike us like a hurricane. There was one time that we thought of going into our own separate ways. But we fought back our differences and now as you can see, we are still together and strongly bonded.
To this day, the children have never seen us arguing over anything, well , maybe on one or two occasions, but that is all. In fact they don't even know if both me and my husband were not on talking term.
If I am not happy with him over anything, I keep my distance and speak to him only when necessary and he likewise. The best thing is, we both know what the other spouse is feeling. It's like twins. Only thing is, he would treat the problem like any other day. And me being me, would keep it inside my heart and let the feeling of discontent and dismay troubling my daily system.
What makes us compatible? I dare say because I am the one with lots of patience whereas he has a temper that I hate. Normally when he lost his head over something, I would get out of his way and keep quiet.
To keep a marriage this long, we had to swallow some of the things that we dislike about our spouse. Believe me, there is no easy way to keep a good marriage this long. Both of us had to work hand in hand together even though it hurts our feelings..at time.
To young married couples out there, here are some tips on how to keep your marriage works:
1) Respect your husband even if his earning is lesser than what you're getting.
2) Respect him even though he may not be as smart as you are.
3) Man has ego, big ego. Try not to criticize or demean them especially in front of other people.
4) I truly believe a way to a man's heart is through is his stomach. Try to cook once in a while. They would adore you for that.
5) Men were born hunters. Don't make yourself too available. They'll get bored. They love their women to be a little independent, not submissive, who loved and cared for them yet not clingy. Believe me, men are actually boys trapped in an adult body.
6) Don't spoil them too much like paying bills, sending and fetching your children from school. Marriage involved 2 people. They had to do their share too. Once you start doing things for them, that's the day, you'll regret forever because men are notoriously known for their laziness. Teach them responsibility at the early age of your marriage.
7) Throughout the marriage, you'll notice many flaws and shortcomings from his part. Try to absorb it if you can. These petty little things could lead to a big fight if left unattended or if you are being too vocal about it. Take the safest measure, compromise. Also keep in mind, we may have our flaws too that he find it repulsive.
There, hope some of the tips is good enough to bind the love that each one of you have towards one another.
I know, there were times that we wish we could be alone and nothing to care about, but then again, who doesn't? Marriage is an institution that requires constant ploughing and watering to keep it green and healthy. Many would opt for the easy way out, that is separation or divorce. Yes, it worked for most people but we tend to hurt the heart of our loved ones, namely our children. They become the obvious victims when divorce occurred.
Whatever differences we may have, do the best we can to work things out amicably. Remember, we were once head over heels in love with each other, why can't we be nice for just a little longer for the sake of our children?
So people, have some mercy for your children before you make any decisions that you may regret later.
Have a pleasant evening everyone. Good nite!
Rose
7th.october ' 15
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)