Hello all,
Last week, when I was about to reach home, an ambulance passed me by with speed and siren that screamed urgency. It came out from my housing area. I didn't give much attention to it as the area that I live currently has about 1500 families.
Once I got home, I started to make some breakfast for my husband. That was when I heard a knock on the front door. My husband answered the door and after a brief mumbled conversation that can be heard from my kitchen, I heard him calling my name. I went to where he was standing and poked my head outside the door to see who was talking to him.
It turned out my next door neighbour, Yati, was here conveying message that my other next door, Umi (on my right) passed away just a while ago. I was speechless. She was so young. She is 36 if I am not mistaken.
I found out later, she was having some kind of stomach pain only that morning while preparing her children for school. The children were still so young. The oldest is merely twelve while the youngest is probably 4 or five years old. She was already unconscious when the ambulance got here.
Her body was send back home where her parents were. Thus I have not seen or speak to her husband to express my condolence over his loss to this day.
Being a Muslim, we will usually perform a Quran recitation as a send-off gift for the dead. So, later that evening, at about 8.45pm, Yati and I, walked to the other block building for this recitation. We waited until all the ladies were there before finally our religious teacher started with a little prayer.
Just a few minutes after that, Yati's daughter was waving her from outside signalling her to come out. Yati got up and went out to speak to her daughter. She came back and stooped down close to my ear and whispered she had to leave. Her father just passed away. We ended up recite the Holy Quran for two losses in one day.
I was dumbstruck. I don't know what to say. I was simply at a loss for words. I had two deaths in one day even though none of them were related to me, but both of them were my next door neighbours. Yati's house is on my left whereas Umi was on my right. Out of 1500 families that live here, two deaths happened to occur under my nose.
I was quiet the entire evening. My mind kept going back to Umi's children. How would they cope without their mother. Who will do the sending and fetching them to school? Who is going to cook for them? What if they fall sick? Who will do the ironing for them? Can their dad care for them? By the way, he's a policeman.
I mean, I don't underestimate men doing chores that wives usually do at home. But men normally work at irregular hours. They would leave home with the sun and got home with the moon. For me, my heart went out to the little one. She is maybe five. I am certain she would long to have her mother's arm wrapped around her little body at night to tuck her in. To listen to her mum's consoling voice the moment she got up from sleep. Those were little luxuries that she may never experienced again for the rest of her lives.
And Yati had her regrets too. Her dad was sick for quite some time. He lived up north that took about five to six hours to reach. She told me she kept putting off to return home and visit her frail father because the children were still in school and everybody was busy. She didn't say much more than that but I think I could fathom what's inside her mind. That she should've gone home when her dad wanted her too. Putting it off could've make her regret her decision for not prioritizing her dad over their busy schedule.
Who are we to judge? We make the same decisions every now and then and live to regret for as long as we live. For many of us, we thought and regard death as something vague and unreal. That seemed so far away and that it will never occur to us, not at this instant anyway.
This is where we're dead wrong. Death came uninvited. Instead of trying to run away from it, we should prepare ourselves to face death in our own way.
When I say, prepare ourselves to face death, it doesn't mean we should literally wait for death to come with an open arms. What I am saying is, we should talk to our family/families what step should be taken if death had present itself at our doorsteps. Have a plan ahead of death. Prepare a will that will benefit our family. I am stating this because we, the Malays seldom prepare a will for the family. Often this practice led to many unwanted scene among siblings and relatives alike.
Talk to our children that they were to fend for themselves once we are gone and keep united and close the bonding that exists between them.
In doing so, we had prepare our children for the unknown. And had we were to be dead in the next month or two, they had at the very least, have some inkling as to what was going on and what should be done next. Write down a list of names in case of emergency and their phone numbers. Make them get to know their grandparents or aunts and uncles. Bring them to visit the relatives every once in a while. This may seem trivial at this moment but will come in handy when in crisis.
Oh you know what? This is unbelievable. As I was writing this blog, the husband of my late neighbour, just knocked on my door. He's here to inform me of his wife passing. I was close to tears when I saw the little one hugging his father's leg. Oh, the little one is a boy, not a girl.
He's trying to get a transfer back to his hometown since he has nobody to look after the children here.
Whatever it is, I hope they find happiness elsewhere and may Allah have mercy on them.
It's 18:05 now and it's time for me to get the dinner ready. Stay safe people and take care.
Lots of love from me,
Rose
26th.Oct '15
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