Hello friends,
Today (Saturday June 13th.) I finally managed to sit and do nothing at home apart from preparing breakfast this morning. Lunch was cooked by Sara for the two of us. Sophie is out for some gathering with her office colleagues, my husband is working whereas Soffian is sleeping. He is in the graveyard shift, so he will only be waking up later in the afternoon.
I am free for the day from any obligations that normally filled me up to the nose. The house is now filled with bickering between the three of them and at times laughter accompanied their argument. I am pleased with the way things had turned out to be especially when it comes to my second child, Soffian. I had a hard time trying to make things right and thank God, He had answered my prayer and Soffian is now working at one of the hotels in Kuala Lumpur. He had recently broken off with his two year girlfriend. He is a happy child and he doesn't seem to be too distraught with the break of but I can't say the same about his heart. He may crying inside but he never showed any sign of it.
As for my eldest, Ariff, he is still in Langkawi. Ariff has always been a good child to us, both me and my husband. Last month he did something that hurt my feelings and we haven't spoken to each other since then. I missed talking to him. He would usually call me up every alternate days and we'd talk nonsense and make some stupid jokes that will get both of us laughing. I told the girls that I am missing him terribly but I had my ego too. I don't want to be the first to call him, I want him to call me and make things right. Well, last night, instead of calling me, he sent me a message through my FaceBook and attached a song for me to watch. I was so touched by his gesture that my bruised heart healed instantly.
My four children, they are the apple of my eyes. Through thick or thin, through bad or worse, I would be their back bone and pillar should they need me.I know they are not perfect and on numerous occasions I shed many tears for their misdemeanours. But that's the price we had to pay when we took full responsibily be their legal guardian for the rest of our lives.
They have their flaws and I have mine. I am their mother, so that gives me the upper hand and they obliged by the rules set thousands of years ago without fuss. We have a healthy relationship between child and parents. They are welcome to voice out any disagreement they might have against me. They could also point out the mistakes I made without me feeling sore with them speaking up their mind.
I dare say they adore me as a person and a mother. They'd always seek my advise on anything be it on fashion, music, love life or simply on food.
I go easy on them be it good or bad. I want them to know that I am a mother that they can count on. That they'd never hesitate to come forward and tell me about their sorrows.And they in return, never took advantage on my leniency.
No doubt I love them from the depth of my heart and nothing could ever change that feelings. But what I am proud to say is they share that same feeling towards me. To them, I could do no wrong in their eyes. Sara often said to me that I have been a good mother to them and her especially and that I had set a bar too high for her to achieve (to being a mom). Sophie grasp and take in almost every word I said to her as an advise and she applied it in her daily life. She is a stickler to punctuality. Actually we all are a stickler for punctuality except for Soffian who was never on time. Whenever he's late and I had to ask him where he was, his answer would be "I am on my way mom". His "on the way" would mean we'd have to wait for at least another half an hour!
My remedy to earn their love and respect was in no way hard to achieve. I simply be their mom who listens to their whining and grumbling. I respect their thoughts and duly given where it's due. I don't yell at them on errors they made. Instead I would approach them in an adult to adult manner. I would ask for explanation and if I am satisfied with it, I will apologise for having doubted them but if they were on the wrong side, I would tackle the matter as delicate as possible so that they would understand that every time they made mistake, it doesn't necessarily affected only them but it can also affect the whole family.
To this day, I still nag all four of them even though the eldest is 26 years old. I still "Soffian, pick up your boxer shorts and place in in the laundry basket" or "Yaya, (Sara) cover the food after you've eaten".
I am still the mother who worries over Sophie and Sara's driving (they had just gotten their license last year), who worries every time Soffian goes out at night and came home well after midnight and worries over Ariff who lives hundred of miles away from me and not knowing what's going on with his life.
I had often reminded them to be themselves. Don't try to change and pretend to be a person which they clearly are not. Each one of them have their own flaws, but they also have a very distinctive talent and skills.
Even though Soffian is the hardest for us to handle, I would never trade him with any other child. He had given me so much heart aches that I sometime think I failed as a mother. But he never failed to amaze me once he sets his mind to something. He has a strong mind. My only hope is that he apply that manner into a physical one.
So, there, a little peek into my life with my four kids. I will try to update their new pictures if they let me. It would be fun if I could get my hands on their most hideous pictures that they sometime posed for us at home.
Until then, have a nice evening every body!
Rose
13th.June '15
