Duit adalah segala-galanya

Salam semua,
Dah lama saya tak menulis dalam bahasa. Bukannya apa tapi saya terasa sikit discourage sebab kurangnya orang kita yang membaca. Bila saya check dalam blog status saya, yang paling ramai dari U.S dan percaya atau tidak dari Russia dan juga Germany. Mungkin pelajar2 kita disana kot. Tapi hari ni saya tulis semula dalam bahasa Melayu sebab sekarang ada ikutan pembaca dari Indonesia pulak. Terima kasih kepada pembaca2 Indonesia.

Hari ni saya nak sentuh sikit tentang duit atau wang dan sedikit tentang cinta. Semua orang perlukan duit. Bohong kalau ada yang kata mereka tidak perlukan wang atau wang perkara kedua dalam hidup mereka. Mungkin kita boleh gunakan ayat itu tiga puluh tahun yang lalu. Zaman sekarang orang menipu kerana wang, membunuh kerana wang, hilang kawan dan keluarga kerana wang dan mati kerana wang.

Baru-baru ni Sophie balik untuk menghabiskan cuti semester nya. Hari tu cuma kami bertiga saja di rumah, Sara, Sophie dan saya. Yang tiga lelaki idaman dah hilang keluar buat hal masing-masing. Kami tutup T.V dan rumah senyap seketika sebab Sara dengan i-Padnya, begitu juga dengan Sophie dan saya menulis di lap top sendiri. Dah penat menulis dan idea pun agak kering, saya berhenti seketika dan mengalih pandangan kearah kedua2 anak perempuan saya. Tiba-tiba saja datang soalan ke dalam kepala saya, terus saya ajukan kepada depa(mereka).
" Yaya, Opie  macam mana satu hari nanti bila semua orang jumpa a guy yang hampir perfect segalanya. Lawa, macho, hebat dalam serba serbi, pandai ambik hati mak bapa (mertua) tapi tak ada duit. Semua orang nak buat apa? Terima dia atau tinggalkan dia?
Dua-dua orang pandang saya, Sara membulatkan mata dan Sophie ada sikit reaksi. "Tak tau la ma. Tak terfikir pun lagi ke arah tu".
"Kenapa tak fikir pulak. Opie dah nak masuk sembilan belas tahun tahun ni dan dlm masa beberapa tahun lagi dah boleh cari partner untuk jadi suami."
Sara, si mulut bijak ni tanya pulak soalan tu kepada saya, "Kalau mama macam mana. Mama terima dak kalau bakal menantu tak berduit?"
Cepat saya jawap, "Tak."
Kedua-duanya agak terkejut dengan jawaban saya. Sorang cakap saya kejam sorang lagi kata saya materialistik.

 Materialistik ke saya? Rasanya tak kot. Saya hanya bersikap praktikal. Mungkin depa ingat ni benda remeh tapi ni adalah masa depan depa. Kalau boleh saya nak suami mereka seorang yang resourceful (tak dpt perkataan yang tepat utk perkataan ini dlm bahasa melayu), berpelajaran, kerja tetap dan sedikit duit simpanan. Tak perlu terlalu kaya tapi selesa. Rumah, kenderaan, makan pakaian semua cukup. Mungkin ini boleh diklasifikasikan dalam kategori mewah suatu ketika dulu tapi kini ia adalah keperluan.
Bila saya kata resourceful, maksud saya seorang yang tahu apa nak buat di kala kehidupannya menjadi susah, atau apabila dia kehilangan kerja atau masa depannya dipenuhi dengan halangan yang tak diduga.
Apa yang dia akan lakukan di dalam keadaan itu? Dari mana harus dia bermula utk menyelesaikan masaalah yang dihadapi atau adakah dia akan berlari pulang kepangkuan isteri dan meratap nasib buruknya. Minta simpang! Ini yang saya takutkan terjadi kepada anak-anak saya dan juga anak2 gadis diluar sana.

Saya harap kat luar sana ada seorang lelaki yang berakhlak tinggi dan ada sifat tanggungjawab menanti mereka. Seseorang yang akan menjaga mereka di kala susah dan senang.Yang mana saya agak ragu-ragu apa masih ada lelaki seperti itu. Tapi, In sya Allah mungkin dah tertulis di Loh Mahfudz masing-masing tentang jodoh mereka. Sebagai ibu bapa, kita hanya dapat mendoakan yang terbaik.

Banyak perkahwinan yang berakhir dengan penceraian disebabkan oleh kekangan kewangan. Memang la ada banyak lagi sebab lain yang mengakibatkan kegagalan dalam rumah tangga seperti kurangnya sifat faham memahami ataupun curang (selingkuh) dengan pasangan masing-masing ataupun atas sebab2 lain tetapi duit jugalah yang memainkan peranan sehingga memutuskan rasa cinta terhadap orang yang pernah kita sayangi atau cinta satu masa dahulu.

Tahun lepas saya terjumpa seorang anak gadis ni.(ibu nya pernah menjadi pengasuh anak2 saya semasa dia orang kecik dulu) Cantik budak ni. Dia bernikah semasa umur tujuh belas tahun iaitu selepas habis sekolah menengah. Masa tu dia dah tak nak dengar cakap orang lain lagi dah. Cinta separuh mati pada bakal suami nya. Masa tu kerja pun belum pasti lagi. Ada sekali dia bagi tau saya, dia orang akan sama-sama berusaha untuk tangani apa jua masaalah yang mendatang seperti orang dewasa. Datang dari mulut seorang anak muda yang masih mentah lagi, saya rasa separuh ayat yang diucapkannya itu pun dia sendiri kurang faham.
Jadi bila saya terjumapa dia tahun lepas di sebuah kedai makan (dia bekerja sebagai pelayan), saya tanya mana anak dia. Dia kata dia hantar anak kerumah mak untuk menjaga dan dia juga dah bercerai dengan suami. Saya nak kepoh (busybody) sikit, saya tanya lagi kenapa. Dia cakap dah fed up nak tanggung suami. Selalu tak ada kerja. Pulak tu minta duit dari isteri sebab nak keluar lepak.
Kesian dia. Dia sendiri pun masih terumbang ambing sekarang ni ditambah pulak dengan anak yang harus diutamakan. Dia mungkin dah berjaya didalam sesuatu bidang sekarang sekiranya tak terlalu mengikut kata hati.

Banyak orang yang saya jumpa pernah mengatakan yang duit tidak terlalu penting didalam hidup mereka. Ini adalah kes "lain di mulut lain dihati ". Orang mungkin boleh kata yang mereka boleh hidup dengan apa yang ada, tapi bila keadaan menjadi payah, orang yang sama akan berkata, kalau lah aku ada duit yang lebih. Secara peribadi saya percaya duit boleh membeli cinta berlawanan dengan ayat yang mengatakan cinta tak dapat dijual beli.
Kita biasa mendengar seorang anak gadis yang muda belia dan cantik bernikah dengan lelaki yang berumur lima puluhan ke atas dan kaya raya. Dah tentu2 gadis itu bernikah disebabkan kekayaan lelaki tua itu. Ok, mungkin anda rasa saya membuat pertimbangan yang salah. Baiklah, kalau begitu kita bagi gadis tu "benefits of the doubt" (maaf saya tak dpt nak translate kan). Katakanlah dia bernikah dengan lelaki tersebut sebab lelaki itu melayannya dengan baik dan menjaga kepentingan hidupnya dengan sehabis hati. Sekarang kita letak situasi ni dalam perspektif yang lurus. Apa kata kalau lelaki itu memang memiliki ciri2 yang di idamkan oleh kaum wanita tetapi dia juga seorang yang pendek, botak, perut buncit dan nafas berbau? Bolehkah kita terima alasannya yang dia menikahi lelaki tersebut sebab cinta yang mendalam? Susah untuk saya percaya.
Lagi sekali, saya katakan, saya akur dengan ayat "lain dimulut lain dihati". Kita sembunyi dibelakang mainan perkataan kita sendiri. Duitlah yang selalu menang didalam hampir semua situasi hari ini.

Saya bukannya anti duit malah saya amat senang dengan duit seperti juga orang lain. Tetapi kadang2 terlalu banyak duit di campur pulak dengan sedikit kuasa, seseorang itu berupaya melakukan perkara gila ataupun keji. Sesetengah orang kaya mempunyai perangai yang buruk apabila berbelanja. Anda percaya tak kalau saya katakan ada pengunjung hotel lima bintang yang berharga ribuan ringgit untuk penginapan satu malam saja membawa bersamanya beberapa ekor kucing. Biarlah, mungkin dia kesian nak tinggalkan kucing tu sendirian dirumah. Yang hebatnya, setiap ekor kucing tu ada seorang pembantu untuk menjaga mereka.
Nak kata apa. Dia ada hak dan cara untuk membelanjakan duit nya sendiri mengikut cita rasa nya.

Saya terkesan dengan satu insiden yang terjadi January lalu oleh perbuatan orang kaya. Anak saya Soffian yang bekerja sebagai bar tender di hotel Westin (saya tuliskan nama hotel) di Langkawi. Satu hari dia balik kerumah dan beritau saya yang dia di gantung kerja dua minggu. Saya terfikir, alahai apa pulak dia buat kali ni.
Dia beritau saya yang pada tengahari tu, dia sedang menyediakan cocktail buat tetamu hotel yang sedang berjemur dikeliling kolam. Tiba-tiba dia terdengar ada orang sebut, "Look at that monkey". Soffian yang tengah menyediakan air mengangkat muka dan nampak satu pasangan suami isteri (isteri melayu dan suami mat saleh) sedang memandang ke arahnya. Lepas tu seorang drp mereka bertanya yang mana, seorang lagi memuncungkan mulutnya kearah Soffian. Soffian ni memang dah dikenali macam mana perangai dia, (kalau sesiapa yang mengikuti blog saya) panas baran. Dia terus membalas, " Who are you refering to?" Lelaki tadi bangun dengan gaya mahu bergaduh. Sama juga dengan anak saya yang tak mahu mengalah. (Kalau saya pun akan rasa begitu apabila tak pasal-pasal orang panggil kita monyet) Keadaan menjadi tegang apabila mereka mula berperang mulut. Pengurus Soffian mencelah dan meleraikan mereka.
Kenapa mereka mencari pasal  dengan pekerja biasa yang tidak setanding dengan status mereka. Apakah ini gaya permainan orang berada? Mereka adalah orang yang dikenali di Malaysia. Tidakkah mereka fikir dengan perbuatan mereka itu tadi telah menutup periuk nasi orang lain yang sangat memerlukan pendapatan bulanan yang tak seberapa itu?
Itu lah apa yang duit boleh lakukan terhadap seseorang itu. Memang betul ada kata yang menyebut duit adalah akar ke segala kejahatan.

Di pendekkan cerita, tetamu tadi membuat aduan kepada pihak hotel dan Soffian telah di beri kata dua samada berhenti secara sukarela atau di berhentikan. Walaupun saya meminta dia memilih diberhentikan, dia memilih untuk berhenti secara sukarela sebab katanya kalau diberhentikan nanti payah nak dapat kerja lain. Lagipun HR janji akan bagi testimonial yang elok bagi dia. Saya agak skeptical tapi saya biarkan dia belajar membuat keputusan sendiri.
Seperti yang saya sangkakan, pegawai HR itu rasanya tidak menepati janji beliau kepada Soffian. Beberapa tempat yang dia pergi untuk temuduga dan sembilan puluh peratus hampir pasti dapat pekerjaan tu, tiba-tiba last minit dia orang call tak jadi ambik. Dia menganggur selama hampir empat bulan.

Akhirnya dia dapat kerja di sebuah hotel ternama di sini bulan lepas. Prasangka saya betul sebab pada hari ketiga dia bekerja ditempat baru pegawai HR di hotel baru ni secara indirectly beritahu kepada mereka ( ada dua orang lagi pekerja baru di dalam bilik tu) "Saya tahu salah seorang dari kamu ada rekod kurang baik ditempat lama. Jangan lakukannya disini."
Dia bernasib baik di terima bekerja dihotel tu disebabkan pengurus besar hotel tu sukakan personality dia dan juga kecekapannya membuat kerja semasa temuduga tempoh hari. Alhamdullilah. Rezeki di mana mana.

Wanita di bahagian HR Westin tidak menjalankan tanggungjawabnya secara menyeluruh.Dia sepatutnya berlaku adil kepada kedua-dua belah pihak. Bukan kepada satu pihak saja. Dia bukanlah seorang yang bagus untuk berada di posisi itu. Dia gagal. Noktah.
Kalau dia rasa saya tidak memberi gambaran yang tepat tentang perkara sebenar, dia atau sesiapa saja dari pihak hotel boleh menghubungi saya. Sesetengah daripada mereka mempunyai nombor telefon saya.

Pada dasarnya, duit bukanlah segalanya tetapi duit boleh membeli dan menyelesaikan masaalah dengan cepat. Belanjalah dengan cara yang berhemah dan jangan lupa untuk memberi kepada yang memerlukan kerana tangan yang memberi lebih baik dari tangan yang menerima.
Duit ringgit, cinta dan kasih sayang serta kuasa akan berjalan seiring dengan hebat sekali sekiranya kita tahu mengendalikannya. Tapi manusia akan tetap menjadi manusia kerana sifat hasad dengki, tamak dan lupa diri.

 Salam dari saya,
Rose 10th.June '13
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                                     Money IS Everything
Hi all!

After some rain last night, this morning feels like heaven. Cooling and mild. And right now I can see no sun peeking through the cloud and that promise us a wet and cozy weather throughout the day. Lucky thing I did all my laundry yesterday.

What shall I right about today? Ehmm..Let's talk about money and maybe a little about love. Everybody needs money. It's a big lie if somebody were to say that they don't need money to live and money is secondary in their lives. We can use these sentence perhaps thirty years ago. Nowadays people cheat for money, kill for money, lost friends and family for money and would die for money.

The other day, when Sophie came back for semester break, the three of us were at home (Sophie,Sara and me), while all the men in the house were out somewhere in the island doing their things. The T.V was off, Sara with her i-Pad, Sophie with her i-Pad and I was writing on my laptop. I stopped writing (since no  ideas coming) and looked around at the both of them. Suddenly I blurted out, "Girls, what if someday when you found your other half and he is perfect in every way and great with me and your dad, his in-laws but he is penniless. Will you accept him as he is or you'd dump him?"
Both of them looked at me at once. Sara just rolled her eyes while Sophie gave me some reaction. She said, "Actually, I never really gave a thought about it."
"Well, you really should, you're nineteen now and in a matter of a few years from now, you will end up being somebody's wife." I said.
The smart-mouthed Sara chipped in, "What do you think? Will you agree if we were to find a penniless husband?"
Without much hesitation, I said no. Both of them turned to look at me at once and one of them said ma, you're mean. The other said I am materialistic. Am I materialistic?

No, I don't think I am materialistic, I am just being practical. Trivial as they may think, that is their future we are talking about. I want my children to find a resourceful husband, an educated person, a steady job and some money as  security. He doesn't have to be filthy rich just comfortable. When I said resourceful, I mean a man who knows what to do when he was stuck in the deep, when he was suddenly out of job or when he was force to face some unseen or challenging obstacles somewhere within his lives.
 What would he do in that situation? Does he know where to start from? Or would he be running home and cry on his wife's shoulder about the misfortune that has befallen onto him. Touch wood!

 I hope somewhere out there, they will find a decent husband who will not only love them for who they are but will also protect them come rain or shine. Of which I sincerely think is quite impossible to find (or achieve?) in today's world, but then again you may never know. We can only hope for the best.

Many marriages ended up with divorce because of financially restraint. Sure, there were other grounds for failed marriages or relationships such as lack of understanding or cheating on spouse or some other reasons but money played a big evil part too to breaking the hearts of couple who once loved each other dearly.

I met this young girl (her mother at one time helped me to care for my children when they were toddlers), very pretty and sweet-natured girl who got married at a very young age, that is at seventeen, right after finishing her high school. They were so crazily in love with one another that they refused to listen to any well-meant words from those close to them . She even said to me once, we'll be together no matter what and we will face any shortcomings like a true adult. That coming from a child herself, I suspect she didn't understand half the words she were saying. Last year when I met her she was working as a restaurant helper and she had lost the sweetness she once possessed and she looked slightly haggard. I pretend to ask about her baby and her husband. She said the baby was sent to her mom and she's no longer with him. I put on my poker face and asked her what happened. ( I can be a good busy body too at times) She said, she got fed-up (her exact word,fed up) with him not working and always looking for an easy way out that is by depending on her small income. Poor girl. She could have been successful in something if she didn't follow her heart then but now she needed to feed and care for another life albeit she herself needed looking after.

Most people I met says money is not so important to them but I think they are not being truthful. This is the case of our words belied our thoughts. People may say they can live on their meager income but when the going gets tough, the same people would say, I wish I had more money to do this or that. We tend to say one thing but meant another. I personally even believe money can buy love contrary to popular believe that money can't buy love. Every now and then we heard  a very young and beautiful girl married a man aged fifty and above and frightfully rich. Okay maybe you guys think I am being judgmental, fair enough, in that case let's give the girl some benefits of the doubt. Let's say she married him because he treats her good, care for her well-being, etc etc. Now let's put this vision in a direct perspective. What if the bloke has all of the above but he is fat, short, pot bellied and bald? Can you really say that she married him for love? I truly doubt so. Again, this is a true case of our words belied our thoughts. We never speak the truth. We hide behind our very own words. It's the money that always win in almost every situation.

I have nothing against money. In fact like everyone else I love having some money to my name. But sometimes having too much money couple up with power, one can do crazy and despicable things with it. Sometimes the rich has a dreadful way of splashing their money around. Would you believe if I were to say some rich guy stayed at a thousands of ringgit hotel per nite and brought along with him his more than ten cats along. Okay maybe the guy loves his cats too much to leave them behind. But would you believe that for every cat he brought there was one maid to attend to each one of them? Meaning he has an extra of more than ten people in his entourage just to care for his cats! What can we say? He has every right to spend his money the way he sees it fit.

I most felt the blow by the rich arrogance last January. Soffian, my son worked as a bar-tender at the Westin Langkawi.(I am printing the hotel name boldly) One day he came home and said he was being suspended for two weeks. I thought, oh no what had you done this time. He told me that afternoon as he was mixing some cocktails for the hotel guests by the pool, he heard one voice said, "Look at that monkey". Soffian looked up from stirring the drinks. He saw one couple, the lady is a Malaysian while her husband is most probably Australian or British. He couldn't be sure. He saw them looking directly at him. Then one of them said which one and the other answered by pursing the lips indicating him. Knowing Pian, (who never backs down from anything) defiantly he called out to them, "who are you referring to?" The husband stood up intimidating him. He walked over and they had verbal argument. Soffian should have left things as it is but he said he was too angry when someone called him monkey apparently for no reason at all.(I would too if I was in that position)  Why did these two picked a mere bar tender to be their play thing ? They were a somebody and prominent figure in Malaysia. Maybe they were so bored with their upper crust social life that they had to find something to spice up their lives? In doing so, they may have forgotten they had crushed another person's income.
That's what money does to people. So it is true when it was said money is the roots to all evil. Money is not evil. People are. They misused it according to their whim.

To cut the story short, the guests filed a complaint against him and he was given an ultimatum either to leave voluntarily or being fired by the hotel. He chose the former since the HR (human resource) department promised to give good words to any other establishments should they call for cross reference if he were to work at any new place he may apply. I can't leave this out, the HR didn't keep their promise because (at that time I only suspect) he applied at a few places and he was ninety percent sure he could have landed the job but at the very last minute they called to apologize for not being able to employ him.
He was out of job for four months.
 Finally he got a job at the best hotel in Langkawi and started last month. My suspicion was right all along because on his third day of working at the new place, his new HR said indirectly (there were two other new staff besides him in that room) "I know one of you has a bad record at your previous hotel and I don't want that attitude carried over here." After the briefing Soffian asked the other two which hotel there were in before, they said none. Lucky thing the hotel's general manager was pleased with Pian's efficiency and personality.
The HR lady didn't honor her words.  She had the authority but she failed to protect for her staff. A good HR will fight for her staff's right. She failed. Full stop.
 She can call me anytime if she thinks I am not being truthful about the whole situation. Many of them got my cell phone number.

Bottom line is, money is not everything but money can buy lots of things. Spend it they way we see fit and don't forget to help others in need because the hand that gives is always better than the hand that receives.

Until then have a great day,people.

Lots of love,
Rose
10th.June '13