Pancake

Assalamualaikum dan Salam Sabtu,

Semenjak saya berhijrah ke Selangor sejak tahun lalu, dah makin kurang masa saya untuk meng-uploadkan resipi-resipi masakan yang selalu saya masak dirumah.

Bukannya tak nak, tapi masa saya banyak dihabiskan dijalanan. Sekejap hantar anak ni ketempat kerja, sekejap lagi pulak dah nak ambik anak yang lagi satu.
Kalau di Langkawi dulu, saya ada banyak masa terluang.

Apapun, hari ni saya letak satu lagi resipi kegemaran ramai pada masa kini. Kita buat pancake. Walaupun makanan ini adalah makanan orang barat tapi dah ramai masyarakat kita yang suka makan pancake ni.

Jadi jom tengok apa bahan yang diperlukan:

2 cawan tepung gandum
1 potong butter - di cairkan (anggaran 150gm)
1 biji telur
250 ml susu segar
sedikit garam
1 sudu teh gula
1 sudu teh soda bikabonat

Susu dimasukkan kedalam satu bekas bersama telur. Pukul sekejap dan ketepikan.

Tepung diayak bersama dengan soda b, kemudian masukkan gula dan garam.
 Masukkan kedalam mangkuk dan buat lubang ditengah.
Tuang susu/telur yang dipukul tadi dan kacau sehingga sebati.
Seterusnya masukkan pula mentega cair tadi dan pukul lagi sehingga tiada berbintil.
(kalau masih juga berbintil, masukkan saja kedalam blender dan blend sehingga halus.

Adunannya harus lah seperti adunan goreng pisang tetapi lebih kental sedikit.
(Sekiranya adunan agak likat, bolehlah ditambah air untuk membuatkan batter lebih cair.)

Panaskan kuali non-stick dan dengan menyapu sedikit minyak dipermukaan, tuangkan satu senduk adunan kedalam kuali tersebut.

Bila adunan sudah nampak sedikit bersarang (akan timbul lubang udara), terbalikkan kepermukaan yang disebelah lagi.

Biarkan dalam 10 saat. Kemudian dah boleh diangkat.

Hidangkan bersama dengan madu dan butter. Boleh juga dimakan bersama dengan kaya atau peanut butter atau apa saja yang kita suka.

Pancake ni macam roti canai juga, lebih sedap dimakan sewaktu panas-panas.

Salam dari saya,
Rose
5th.Sept '15

Me? An Author?

I had recently finished writing a manuscript, in Malay language and was ready to find a publisher to publish my book. It was a light thriller. I was required to send in the first three chapters and the evaluation will be made upon that.

I sent to three different publishers. Within 2 weeks I got the reply. All three turned down my manuscript.

My manuscript was read and evaluated by a team of juries. One publisher had 10 juries (the figure differs in each publisher). In one publisher, three of the juries voted for yes, the balance of seven voted for no. The second publisher, I got four 'yes' and six 'no'.

Thus, I didn't get to publish my first ever book written by me since last year.

How do I feel? Down and dejected for sure. But Sophie, Sara and Soffian was quick to console me. They said even J.K. Rowling was turned down more than she can remember before she finally made it, and she made it big!

Well, I don't dream to becoming the next J.K. Rowling, I just want to be a writer, a great one at that.

After I got the discouraging ratings from the three publishers, I stopped sending the manuscript to any other publisher. I will keep it to myself for now. The juries gave their tips and feedback on how to write better and a few of them encourage me to slightly re-write especially the beginning of the story.

But there was one jury that I think was not too smart. No, I am not being a sour grape just because they turned me down. On the contrary, I am being matter-of-fact. You know what he or she wrote in his/her comment? It says, " The story line was good but predictable. I don't have to read the whole book to know what the end would be. And I am pretty sure there would'nt be any twist or suspense towards the end."

Seriously? Who does he think he is? A mind reader?  I myself didn't know what the end would be until I came close to finishing the story, and yet this person got the balls to say that he knew what my end would be?  

Now I am getting all worked up. I personally think that to be a critic, a person should at least had to have passion for reading. Lots and lots of reading. He/she had to have a good general knowledge in almost everything so that he can relate to the storyline that he's immersing himself in at that moment.

Somehow, this jury gave me the reverse impression. The impression that says that he is not into much reading.

I used to read many books years ago but nowadays I would give myself a pat on the shoulder if I could finish three books in a year. I must say that I only read books written in English. I admire the time, the research, the pain the author had to go through to produce one book.

I don't look down on the local Malay writer but somehow the storyline was too light and superficial

for me to get addictive or strong enough to give me a grip to keep on turning the page even after bedtime hours. I did read a few Malay books belongs to Sophie and Sara a couple of years ago but I can't say that I was thrilled with the way the story was presented. It was plain, empty and missing the 'umphh' in it.

Their storyline would usually revolve around love, marriage and family feud. I know these elements were among the important ingredients that make or break our lives but hey...what's wrong with making it more interesting and in depth so that they could draw more mature readers like me. The Malays have always prefer a laid back and simple living in their lives and it reflected in their thinking. Movies that filled with comedy and action packed will attract audience that resulted in box office. Books followed suit, if the title sounded something like these,  Will you marry me, Mr Squid? or Do you love me? or A Part Time Wife and many more, then you can bet your last dime that it's gonna be a hit among young readers.   

Most probably the juries that read my manuscript thought that I am in the same category as the above-said authors.

Sophie asked me to write in English, said that my writing in Malay sounded a little off. I think I know what she meant by a little off. Malay language has a limited vocabulary. That is why every time when I can't think of the word in Malay, I will search it in English first and try to translate it later on.

That is why my Malay grammar sounded a little off but I think I should be alright after a while.

I don't want to write in English because I don't think my English is that good to write a book. Writing a blog is different . I don't really care about my grammar or  my sentence structure. As long as I got something on my mind, I can just plop down anywhere and write it straight away. No hassle with proof readers or editors. I am the writer and I am the sole editor.

So, what do I do now? Shall I keep sending my manuscript to the publishers or shall I wait until I had enough money to fund it/ publish it on my own?
People? Give me ideas please..  I know I have you guys that follow my blog regularly, so help me out here. I am open to suggestions.

I am penning off now. Had a busy day today. My bed is calling and my eyes are half open. I need my beauty sleep and don't anybody dare to wake me up with any text messages or phone calls.

Good night people and be safe wherever you are!

Rose,
29th.Aug '15

What Will Be Sara's Choice?

Dear all,

I sure do been missing from the virtual world lately, don't I?
Well, to tell you the truth, I hate my existing laptop right now. It is moving ever too slowly for me to do anything, let alone do my writing. That is why I am kind of hibernating in my own world.

The laptop is still slow but I am feeling bored. I need to do something especially today, since nobody is at home craving for my attention.

Today, I have something that has been playing on my mind for the past two weeks. I feel I need to share this situation that I am in with you guys out there.
Remember I sent Sara to a prep science college last year in Sending Sara? Well, she had completed her study there last April. A few months ago, her result came out and she passed her final exam with flying colors. Being a mom, of course I am proud of her. So proud that I am beginning to doubt if she is truly my daughter. I mean, I flunk my math and science big time whereas she did very well in that two subjects.

Anyway, last week she received an offer from a university in the United Kingdom to study Physics at Southampton University starting this coming September. On top of that, her four year study there are being sponsored in full by the Ministry of Education. It's an offer hard to decline right? I am sure that's what everybody would say or think.

So guys, what do you think I do? I left the decision to her. She had to decide since this is her future. Initially she was about seventy percent agreeable to accepting the offer when suddenly she made a 360 degree turn and said she may not want to go and study there. Reason being, four years is far too long and she worried too much about my welfare, meaning she is worry that my cancer might recur within that four year.
Another reason I think is about money. By the way, for many, it's kind of  taboo for people to talk openly about money. In this case, I feel it's only right for me to share with others on how we tackle this matter.
Since we don't have any savings whatsoever, it is almost impossible for us to come up with an estimated amount of RM6000.00 prior to her departure. Visa alone to UK required 322.00 pound which is equivalent to about RM 1700.00. This amount does not include health insurance, passport, medical check up, winter clothing (Malaysia is an all year round sunny country) and her other necessities while there. However all these documentation and departure preparation will be reimbursed by the ministry. The only issue here is we simply can't come up with that amount on our own. So both my husband and I opted to take up a personal loan to fund her at this initial state.

Then, last Tuesday (11th.August) she received another offer. This time it's from our local university, UKM. And this time she was offered to take up medicine. In our country, once a student was offered a place to take up medicine, those who graduated between 3.5 CGPA ( I think) to 4.0 CGPA, they are eligible to receive a full scholarship from Public Service Department for the whole five years of studies.

Now comes the dilemma. She is indecisive between the two courses. Actually, come to think of it, she never showed any inclination towards anything, I mean career-wise. She never came up to me and said, Ma, I want to become a so or so when I grow up. She just didn't seem to have any ambition at all. Oh, she did come to me once or twice and said she wanted to be a professional gamer or Radio DJ. But I never took her seriously because she is being tongue-in-cheek with me.
For this course, we will have to come up with about RM3000.00. Subsequently, the scholarship will come, most probably after her enrolment.

Now, truly the decision and choice are all up to her. She asked for our input and ideas and finally she made up her mind. She is going to let go of the offer to study in the United Kingdom and accept the offer to become a doctor. She said, she is more familiar with this profession since I have been in and out of hospital throughout her teenage years and she hoped to become a good and dedicated doctor so that she will have a chance to attend to me in the future years should I ever need a medical attention ever again.

Me? I am happy with whatever choice she made. After all I am her mother. Money? What's there to be afraid of? Almost every other day, I walked around with five ringgit in my purse and I still manage to feed and clothe my family comfortably. I am happier now than I was five years ago.

Whoever is in the same situation as I do, worry not. We live our lives within our means. We love our family beyond our means and we support them all the way way beyond our means. That is what life is all about to me. After all, I am going to be a mother to a doctor in the making, if God wills it. And who knows, one of these days, Sophie's dream of becoming a Travel Journalist may come true. I will become a mother to a TV personality. And I can become a mother to a pastry chef and a mother to a hotel manager. There's no harm in dreaming a good dream for our children.
Gloating? Maybe a little. Which mother wouldn't? I would prefer to say proud or take pride in, instead of gloating. Mothers do that. They gloat all the time about their children. Don't believe me? Open your Facebook and see for yourself.
I am just being happy for my children, that's all.  Just who knows what tomorrow brings.

Until then, have a pleasant day and be good people. Be healthy and be safe.

Love,
Rose
15th.August '15

Drunk With Festive Food

Hey all,

I am back again! Sorry , I didn't do much writing last month since it was Ramadhan, Muslim fasting month. Most of the time I was lazing around and do some soul-searching... Sounds deep eh?

After a month of fasting we finally celebrated the Eid on the 17th.July. It was heart-warming, at least for me since this is the first time  I celebrated the Eid by visiting relatives and friends houses. In previous years, when we were in Langkawi, I usually cook for friends who would stop by at our house during our open house.
This time around, I was the one making the rounds all over Selangor. I got to enjoy other's cooking and festive food at all the houses we visited.

Talking about food, after shedding just about 2 kilograms during fasting month, my weight shot back to it's normal self. What can I do? I can't refuse all that good creamy, fatty and oily meals that was served right before my eyes and what about my hosts? They'd be offended if I were to refuse their festive- meal cooking cooked under a considerable amount of time, now wouldn't they?

So, here I am back to my old weight but I'll keep it a secret this time. I am not gonna tell you guys how much do I weigh now.
The problem that I am facing right now is not about my weight (I'll worry about that later), it's about the fruits season. That means there are loads of tropical fruits being sold and displayed along the road all over the country.

There are mangoes, mangosteen, jack fruits, rambutan, and last but not at all least is durian. For those of you who had never tasted or come across durian, here's how it looks.

Durian

This fruit has a strong smell that most foreigners especially the Westerners can't stand. That was before they tasted the flesh. The fruit barely touched their tongue when some of them would puke badly. Some of them would even pair/liken the smell to that of a shit!

But worry not. To us Asian, this fruit was touted as King of the fruits. People would go over their budget just to savour that soft creamy flesh of this fruit.

I would say this fruit required an acquired taste. Just like us Asian trying to get used to some of those strong-smelled cheese.     

Me? I loved this fruit to the core but as usual, I can't take too much of it since it contained high sugar level in it.

The rambutan, mangosteen, mangos, papaya, banana, they are everywhere. It makes one tempted to buy all type of these tropical fruits and stock it up inside the little fridge.
It's okay to eat lots of fruits but not to overdo it, especially for people with diabetes like me. I had to be able to train myself and take it in a small quantity.

The festive food was surely created for food sinners. How can anybody refuse that mouth watering beef rendang during the celebration. It is one of the most delicious recipes one could ever create. The beef that melted inside your mouth, the taste of dozens of herbs blend into one dish and cook for hours to produce that heavenly taste.
And then there was a variety of rice to go along with the beef rendang. There is Briyani rice, Tomato rice or Buttered Rice, to name a few. All these rice are high in calories but that what makes it delicious and a food that no one can say no to.

As if all of the above are not enough, there was these festive cookies. Loads of cookies in every Malay Muslim homes during this celebration. These cookies are rich with butter, eggs and sugars!
In some homes, instead of making cookies (which takes incredible days and hours to bake), many would opt for daily desserts such as Kuih Talam, Pulut Seri Muka, chocolate cakes or some sweet chilled jelly. Salivating... God Forbid! I have to take a hold on myself.  

To top it all up, there was open house everywhere. One just had to choose which house one wish to present oneself and make oneself a glutton for that day. Many of the politicians would throw an open house within their constituency to show their appreciation towards their voters. So one can imagine the amount of food lined up in the chaffing dish ready for thousands of people from all walks of life to flock the involved MP. Again the food was surely to be high in calories and cholesterol but who the hell cares. People are there to eat. One of the most popular food served during open house would be satay, doesn't matter whether it is beef or chicken or lamb. It would be the most sought after among all others.

After a week of eating rich food, many would finally came back to their senses and make amend to try and live normally..but it's a little too late. Many would have carry some hard to shed calories and a little heavier than they used to be.
Me? I am a person who stick to my trivial diet ( a little bragging to boost myself will not harm anybody, right) and so I am safe from the aftermath of the festive season. My sugar level never rise above 8. Yayy!! I did wonder to myself.

So, happy Hari Raya everyone! Do not overdo with your consumption and stay healthy!

Love,
Rose
 

Puasa, Raya Dan Buffet Di Rumah

Salam Aidil Fitri buat semua kenalan dan pembaca semua,

Alhamdulilah, selesai sudah kita mengerjakan salah satu daripada 5 rukun Islam iaitu berpuasa dibulan Ramadhan. Hari ni dah masuk hari raya ketiga. Sepanjang bulan puasa tahun ni, suhu panas yang melanda tersangatlah mencabar iman. Terasa bahang panas seawal pagi lagi, apa lagi diwaktu tengahari!

Alhamdulilah sekali lagi, tahun ini puasa saya penuh 30 hari, al-maklumlah dah senja-senja ni, dah menopause pun, jadi dapatlah mengerjakan sepenuhnya. Tapi yang saya terkilan sikit, saya tak dapat nak buat terawih  seperti yang dihajatkan. Nak cerita pun malu juga, tapi tak apalah bagi cik-puan2 yang membaca diluar tu buat tak tahu aja lah ya.
Saya ni setiap kali bulan Ramadhan, untuk minggu pertama saya akan mengalami sakit kepala yang teruk dan kronik. Saya pun tak tahu kenapa tapi macam tu lah saban tahun. Jadi untuk mengelak daripada berbuka sebab teramat sakit, waktu sahur saya makan panadol siap-siap. Tapi saya tak makan lah setiap pagi cuma bila terasa sikit sengal-sengal dan sakit dikepala, baru saya makan, jadi dapatlah saya 'komplit'kan puasa saya tu.
Yang keduanya, saya akan mengalami cirit birit setiap kali selepas berbuka. Ini bukan sehari dua punya cirit birit tetapi selalunya lebih dari seminggu. Pulak tu, bukan sekali dua saya harus kebilik air tetapi lima atau enam kali. Tahun ni cirit birit saya sehingga tiga minggu.
Jadi bayangkan macam mana saya nak pergi terawih dalam keadaan macam ni. Jadi terpaksalah buat dirumah. Kalau dah namanya buat dirumah tu, maknanya tak penuhlah jawabnya.
Satu perkara yang baik yang dapat saya lakukan bila saya tak dapat menunaikan solat terawih ialah saya dapat mengkhatam Quran tahun ni. Saya dengar ustaz kata, baca sekurang-kurangnya 4 helai Al Quran selepas setiap solat fardhu. Itu yang saya buat dan alhamdulilah, saya dapat melakukannya. Saya bukan seorang yang tinggi ilmu agamanya, jadi bila saya dapat melakukan sesuatu seperti ini, saya sangat berbangga dengan diri sendiri.

Sepanjang bulan Ramadhan tahun ni, kebanyakannya saya masak dirumah. Dah terlalu banyak kali kami sekeluarga kena keracunan makanan yang teruk. Si Sophie sampai tak ingin langsung nak beli makanan yang berasaskan ayam atau ikan yang dijual digerai gerai atau dibazar Ramadhan. Kami cuma beli makanan seperti murtabak atau kuih muih. Yang lainnya semua saya masak dirumah. Jadi saya dapat berjimat dengan lebih banyak.

Ada kalanya teringin juga nak berbuka diluar tapi bila direnung dan dibelek harga harga yang terpampang di akhbar-akhbar harian, rasa "mengkelan" pula nak buang duit sebanyak tu. Mau nya tidak, orang tua macam saya ni makan nasi separuh pun belum tentu habis, kuih muih pun setakat dua tiga biji, macam mana nak pergi makan kat restoran yang menyediakan buffet dengan harga yang tak masuk akal. Bayangkan satu kepala RM68.00, kalau didarab lima kepala dah berapa? Itu belum makan dihotel lagi yang harganya melebihi RM150 seorang!

Jadi apa yang saya buat, setiap malam saya masak hidangan dan menu yang berlainan supaya nampak berseri dan seolah makan diluar.

Ini salah satu hidangan yang saya buat pada satu malam. Semua hidangan saya sediakan serba sedikit supaya tak membazir. Agak meletihkan sebab banyak kerja yang diperlukan tetapi alhamdulilah tak ada pembaziran langsung.

 Semua saya buat sendiri, dari nasi ayam, karipap, tart telur, pulut durian sehingga ke pencuci mulut iaitu sago gula melaka. Semua bahan dah ada dirumah, saya hanya perlu beli durian untuk dimakan bersama pulut. Itupun saya dapat RM10 untuk enam biji durian kampung. Best dak?

Hari seterusnya pun saya buat begini. Macam karipap tu saya buat banyak-banyak sekali, simpan dalam freezer. Bila nak goreng baru keluarkan 6~7 ketul untuk digoreng. Kalau saya buat pulut seri muka, saya akan agihkan ke rumah jiran terdekat. Dengan cara begini meja saya selalu ada makanan yang berbagai variasi tetapi tidak berlebihan.

Alhamdulilah, Hari Raya tahun ni pun sangat menggembirakan hati saya walaupun anak sulung, Ariff tidak dapat bersama kami sebab tak dapat cuti. Ini kali pertama selepas berpuluh tahun saya dapat beraya dengan meriahnya sebab dapat bertandang kerumah saudara mara yang mana selama ini saya tidak dapat melakukannya disebabkan kami tinggal diLangkawi. Maklum sajalah, sesekali kalau nak keluar dari pulau tu memerlukan duit yang banyak. Jadi selalunya kami habiskan raya di dirumah saja.
Berbeza dengan tahun ni, saya dapat beraya dirumah sepupu di Kota Kemuning, kemudian kerumah mertua anak saudara di Subang. Hari kedua pulak kami ke Beruas Perak untuk melawat emak saudara saya iaitu Mak Lang saya yang paling saya sayangi. Dia umpama emak saya. Saya sanagt rapat dengannya sewaktu kecil dulu. Kesemua anak-anaknya adalah anak lelaki dan saya juga sangat rapat dengan depa semua. Dah macam adik dan abang sendiri bukan macam sepupu lagi dah.

Raya ketiga, kami berehat sat. Letih sangat dah berjalan. Hari ni saya masak sambal petai dengan sotong, buat sikit paceri nenas, masak ikan taucu dan goreng sikit ayam. Sedap makan macam ni. Dah muak tengok daging untuk beberapa hari ni.

Buat semua, salam dari saya dan saya mohon ampun dan maaf sekiranya ada kata-kata dan tulisan saya ini ada menyentuh perasaan dan mengguris hati sesiapa.

Sekian ikhlas dari saya,

Rose
19th.July '15

Trifle Mudah

Assalamualaikum dan salam Ramadhan buat semua teman-teman diluar sana!

Hari ni masuk hari ketiga kita berpuasa bagi tahun 2015. Harap-harap kita semua dapat menyempurnakan puasa tahun ini lebih baik dari tahun-tahun sebelumnya.

Okay, hari ni saya nak letak resipi pemanis mulut yang sangat mudah dan sangat yummy, iaitu trifle. Trifle ni adalah salah satu pemanis mulut kegemaran masyarakat British tapi sekarang dah jadi universal. Semua orang menyukainya. Saya pasti ramai yang dah biasa buat trifle ni dan dengan cara masing-masing.

Jadi, saya pun nak menyibuk juga postkan resipi ini ikut selera kami dirumah. Jom kita tengok cara nak menyediakannya.

1/2 kek (jenis kek bergantung selera anda, saya gunakan kek pisang)
Butterscotch
Krim
Pisang
Susu segar

Untuk menyediakan butterscotch:
1/4 salted butter
1/2 cawan gula perang
1/4 cawan susu segar ataupun krim

Butterscotch saya berwarna lebih gelap sebab saya pakai gula merah, gula perang habis

Masukkan gula perang kedalam kuali yang kering. Kalau pakai non-stick pan lebih mudah.
Kemudian masukkan butter dan gaul perlahan-lahan. Pastikan api perlahan.
Terakhir masukkan susu dan kacau sehingga semuanya sebati.
Dah jadi butterscotch. Ketepikan dulu.

Kek :
Kek hanya perlu dipotong keping-keping, kemudian potong dadu pula.
Untuk melembapkan kek ini, kita akan campurkan sedikit susu (lebih kurang 4 sudu makan) sebelum di susun tindan.  Ketepikan.

Untuk krim :

1 cawan whipped krim
1/2 cawan gula kastor

i) Pukul kedua dua bahan sehingga sebati. Kalau agak cair bolehlah ditambah dengan sedikit tepung jagung. Adunannya harus seperti adunan kuih ketayap. Bila dah siap, ketepikan dulu.

ii) Kalau malas, boleh saja beli whipped light cream ataupun dessert topping yang banyak dijual di supermarket berdekatan rumah anda. Kita cuma perlu sembur ke atas kek kita nanti.

Saya lebih suka no i) sebab topping yang saya buat sendiri ni agak cair dan meresap masuk kedalam kek nanti.
Kalau guna yang no ii) lebih mudah dan nampak lebih cantik.

Pisang:
Boleh guna pisang emas atau pisang bunga atau apa2 saja. Pisang cuma perlu dipotong bulat-bulat.
Atau boleh saja ditambah dengan buah-buahan lain spt strawberri ataupun durian?

Okay, sekarang semua bahan dah siap, kita dah boleh susun tindan.
Ambil satu gelas kosong. Pertama sekali masukkan kek yang dipotong kecil tadi dilapisan paling bawah.
Selepas itu lapiskan dengan whipped cream dipermukaan kek. Susun pisang yang dipotong bulat tadi diatas krim.
Kini, lapiskan semula dengan potongan kek.
Kemudian tuang kan sedikit butterscotch keatas kek tadi.
Sekali lagi, lapiskan kek diatas butterscotch tadi.
Terakhir spray whipped cream atau tuang masuk perlahan-lahan adunan krim tadi.
Hiaskan dengan pisang yang diatas permukaan krim itu.

Ini gambar untuk blog

Dah siap. Lebih sedap apabila disejukkan lebih kurang setengah jam sebelum dimakan.
Selamat mencuba!

Gambar ini pula versi untuk makan dirumah..

Salam dari saya,
Rose
20th.June '15

Being A Mom Is A Full Time Job

Hello friends,

Today (Saturday June 13th.) I finally managed to sit and do nothing at home apart from preparing breakfast this morning. Lunch was cooked by Sara for the two of us. Sophie is out for some gathering with her office colleagues, my husband is working whereas Soffian is sleeping. He is in the graveyard shift, so he will only be waking up later in the afternoon.

I am free for the day from any obligations that normally filled me up to the nose. The house is now filled with bickering between the three of them and at times laughter accompanied their argument. I am pleased with the way things had turned out to be especially when it comes to my second child, Soffian. I had a hard time trying to make things right and thank God, He had answered my prayer and Soffian is now working at one of the hotels in Kuala Lumpur. He had recently broken off with his two year girlfriend. He is a happy child and he doesn't seem to be too distraught with the break of but I can't say the same about his heart. He may crying inside but he never showed any sign of it.

As for my eldest, Ariff, he is still in Langkawi. Ariff has always been a good child to us, both me and my husband. Last month he did something that hurt my feelings and we haven't spoken to each other since then. I missed talking to him. He would usually call me up every alternate days and we'd talk nonsense and make some stupid jokes that will get both of us laughing. I told the girls that I am missing him terribly but I had my ego too. I don't want to be the first to call him, I want him to call me and make things right. Well, last night, instead of calling me, he sent me a message through my FaceBook and attached a song for me to watch. I was so touched by his gesture that my bruised heart healed instantly.

My four children, they are the apple of my eyes. Through thick or thin, through bad or worse, I would be their back bone and pillar should they need me.I know they are not perfect and on numerous occasions I shed many tears for their misdemeanours. But that's the price we had to pay when we took full responsibily be their legal guardian for the rest of our lives.

They have their flaws and I have mine. I am their mother, so that gives me the upper hand and they obliged by the rules set thousands of years ago without fuss. We have a healthy relationship between child and parents. They are welcome to voice out any disagreement they might have against me. They could also point out the mistakes I made without me feeling sore with them speaking up their mind.
I dare say they adore me as a person and a mother. They'd always seek my advise on anything be it on fashion, music, love life or simply on food.
I go easy on them be it good or bad. I want them to know that I am a mother that they can count on. That they'd never hesitate to come forward and tell me about their sorrows.And they in return, never took advantage on my leniency.

No doubt I love them from the depth of my heart and nothing could ever change that feelings. But what I am proud to say is they share that same feeling towards me. To them, I could do no wrong in their eyes. Sara often said to me that  I have been a good mother to them and her especially and that I had set a bar too high for her to achieve (to being a mom). Sophie grasp and take in almost every word I said to her as an advise and she applied it in her daily life. She is a stickler to punctuality. Actually we all are a stickler for punctuality except for Soffian who was never on time. Whenever he's late and I had to ask him where he was, his answer would be "I am on my way mom". His "on the way" would mean we'd have to wait for at least another half an hour!

 My remedy to earn their love and respect was in no way hard to achieve. I simply be their mom who listens to their whining and grumbling. I respect their thoughts and duly given where it's due. I don't yell at them on errors they made. Instead I would approach them in an adult to adult manner. I would ask for explanation and if I am satisfied with it, I will apologise for having doubted them but if they were on the wrong side, I would tackle the matter as delicate as possible so that they would understand that every time they made mistake, it doesn't necessarily affected only them but it can also affect the whole family.

To this day, I still nag all four of them even though the eldest is 26 years old. I still "Soffian, pick up your boxer shorts and place in in the laundry basket" or "Yaya, (Sara) cover the food after you've eaten".
I am still the mother who worries over Sophie and Sara's driving (they had just gotten their license last year), who worries every time Soffian goes out at night and came home well after midnight and worries over Ariff who lives hundred of miles away from me and not knowing what's going on with his life.

I had often reminded them to be themselves. Don't try to change and pretend to be a person which they clearly are not. Each one of them have their own flaws, but they also have a very distinctive talent and skills.
Even though Soffian is the hardest for us to handle, I would never trade him with any other child. He had given me so much heart aches that I sometime think I failed as a mother. But he never failed to amaze me once he sets his mind to something. He has a strong mind. My only hope is that he apply that manner into a physical one.

 So, there, a little peek into my life with my four kids. I will try to update their new pictures if they let me. It would be fun if I could get my hands on their most hideous pictures that they sometime posed for us at home.

Until then, have a nice evening every body!

Rose
13th.June '15