Hello, We meet again!
Today is the sixteenth day we are fasting. I feel like we had just started a few days ago. How time flies. That applies to us as well. We're getting older without realizing it. The babies that we sung lullabies just not so long ago has now grown to be a young man or ladies. We cherished the time we been able to spend with them for the past few years and now they are about to venture into a more challenging lives on their own.
How well do we know our children? Many of us would say "I know my son/daughter very well. He/She wouldn't do that kind of thing." Cliche. The actual fact is, none of us know our children that well. Heck, we don't even know ourselves that well. We thought we were.
Looking at the youngsters behaviour nowadays can at times scares the wit out of you. I especially want to talk about Malay youngsters these days. Many of the children, that include me, grew up watching far too many American movies. Many of these movies portrayed young people as charismatic, macho, happening, what have you, what have you. In the movies, they looked cool partying in a big house or mansion with lots of alcohol and drugs being passed around. They'd drive a cool car, they'd date the most popular and gorgeous looking available and they hang out stylishly with one hand holding a bottle of champagne while the other hand is on a pretty girl's hip. These misguided act had an over-powering value towards the young adults especially those from rural areas. Movies were not to be blamed. We are! I am sure at these age (around 18 to 24) they know what they are doing and to define the rights from the wrongs.
These youngsters came to big cosmopolitan city like Kuala Lumpur to further their studies or they might have been offered a job there. All the while they lived in a little village with a small town as their hip destination. Suddenly they were thrust into the middle of a concrete jungle (city) that moves at a rapid pace of which they literally and unknowingly faced a culture shock.
Thus begin their lives as portrayed in the movies. They wanted to be seen and accepted as the "in" group.They'd do as they were told and they'd do what they had seen, without compulsion. They wouldn't want to be seen as left behind. They started to frequent some clubs with some new found friends. They were later introduced to some kind of drinks that they'd never tasted before. They braved themselves to show that they can accept it even though their conscience may not agree with their doings.
Sophie told me the other day, "Ma, the other day I saw some malay girls eating out in the open.(For those who doesn't know, eating in the open is prohibited for Muslims during day time in Ramadhan month, in Malaysia). To me, these youngsters were either ignorant or trying to be liberal about the whole thing or thought they'd look cool eating out with some other friends (from other ethnics) . In Malaysia, it would be awkward and embarrassing for A Muslim/Malay to eat in a broad daylight during Ramadhan month. One can eat but discreetly. Ramadhan month is considered a holy month so every Muslim should at least respect the month by not eating in the open.
These young adults got themselves carried away a bit too far. The five times daily prayer was forgotten. All in the name of being liberal and modern. They change the way they speak. They speak about the latest fashion and yet they don't actually know what fashion is suitable for them. They speak about love and yet they got cheated by someone who claimed he will love them forever. They speak worldly about everything and yet they don't know what's going on around them.
These children were not prepared to be in this new world yet. They just wanted to be accepted by the new surroundings.
Poor kids. When one tried too hard to be accepted in a certain circle or group of friends, one will always find that they had placed a wrong foot ahead. Some would go as far as being a call girl or a social escort. All these because they wanted to live like a rich kid. They felt ashamed wearing T-Shirts which may cost about RM20.00 They wanted a Calvin Klein T-Shirt that could easily touched RM 100.00. They knew full well that their parents couldn't afford it. So the only way out is by doing something even they themselves loathe doing it.
When Sophie was about to leave for U.S. last year (she was there for six months),she was quite intimidated by things she heard and saw on T.V. Coupled with being an eighteen year old at that time, that kind of freaked her out a little. I told her to be who you are. People want to see the real you. You don't have to be more American than the American. You carry on with your daily prayers as usual, you eat what they eat, just tell them politely that as a Muslim you are forbidden to take any pork or liquor. Other than that, just follow the flow. Her teachers at the first school she went, was great when they went out all the way to find a vacant room for her to pray during school hours. Her host parents, Lisa & Kevin McAllister had been exceptionally amazing throughout her stay. They took her in and did the best to accommodate a Muslim girl in their home for six months without prejudice. I am forever grateful to Lisa & Kevin for being a great parents to her while she was there.
What I am trying to say is, we don't have to be another person just to fit in. If people around us cannot accept us as who we truly are, then there's no point to hang out with them. Those people can't be categorized as true friends for true friends will accept us the way we are.
So children, you don't have to drink or dress up in expensive clothes or looking pretty all the time to find friends. Be yourself and I assure you, you'll be way happier that way.
Be proud to be you. Be proud to be a Muslim, Christian, Hindu or Buddhist. Stick to what you stand for or believe in. You shouldn't be swayed by what others have to say. Don't be afraid to be firm.
If you want to be accepted by others just be nice, be a good listener, be intellectual and be yourself. Don't over exert, just stay moderate. You'll be amazed by how people will look up to you.
Okay, that's all for today folks. Until next entry, have a safe day and be good!
Love,
Rose
25th.July '13
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