Hey people!
Going through Soffian's closet the other day, I thought of calling for some help. It was in an immediate call out for help state. I told him before that I was never ever going to tidy up his room or his clothing, but every time I enter his room, I had a perpetual head ache. The smell of cigarette, the cigarette ash that stuck to my feet whenever I stepped inside his room and the bed that was never made up.
How do you think I would react? Yep, goes without saying.. I nagged. But what good does it do? It only falls on deaf ears. When will he grow up, if he ever will!!
He needs constant reminder from me for almost everything that needed to be done. Take for instance, his cell phone. I need to remind him if the phone was with him before leaving the house. He doesn't seem to take things seriously.
For those who have been following my blog, you may have read
My Boys Their Antics Gave Me Headaches . From there alone, you can sum up how tough my life is to watch over him. He'd do things you never thought he'd dare to do.
He'd give bad advise and bad influence to both his sisters. There was one day, Sara was driving and he was sitting in the front passenger's seat while I was at the back seat. Suddenly a car came close and tried to overtake us in a dangerous manner. Sara was still quite new in her driving and she was a little intimidated with what the guy did. Soffian on the other hand, sat bold upright in his seat and coached her, "Go to the next lane and drive at par with that driver." To which Sara replied, "Why should I do that?"
"Because instead of getting furious with that guy and him not knowing it, you should confront him. Now go, drive until you're at par with him, turn your face towards him and look him in the eyes. Show him that you're not afraid of him."
I know he sometimes did that just to arouse my anger or to see my reaction, but that is not the right thing to teach his sister who is still a freshie when it comes to driving. What if she was alone driving and she faced the same situation on her own? Would she dare to drive up next to one particular driver and eyeballed that guy? She'd be looking for a deep trouble.
He is and will always be a boy that will keep his mischievousness and bad boy attitude for a long time. I don't see any changes coming in the near future. At home, he'd always pick on Sophie. He'd punch her like she was his little brother and he'd call her names. Most of the time she'd ignore him. Other time she'd retaliate and fight back. At the end of it, my name will be called out, "Ma, look at Pian." And as always he'd go like, "No Ma, she started first."
If I didn't know better.. I'd surely believe him rather than Sophie.
Why am I blabbering about Soffian today? Because he is one of a kind. I've crossed path with mothers who complained about their son's mischief and having difficult time looking after them. I dare say what they went through were not even half of what I had been through.
Boys are hard to handle, yes, I can vouch for that! But they're also fun to be with. Put aside your anger and wariness (of your own child) and try to enjoy having them around.
I mean, you wouldn't see your daughter holding someone else's toddler upside down and swaying back and forth with that toddler giggling away happily. Only boys do that.
That boy who is afraid of nothing suddenly went white as sheet when a frog leapt in front of him. Man! That was a sight to behold.
That boy who would occasionally lie down next to you and talk to you about his day at his working place.
That boy who would laugh heartily at my cursing and swearing since he seldom hear me swear. That reminds me of Adam Sandler's Big Daddy movie. Remember, the little boy who would only laugh at
other people's expense?
At home, the three of us girls, Sophie, Sara and me prefer men company than the girls. Call it sexist if you want but we find it much easier to get connected with boys rather than girls. Boys are straight forward species. They say things that sometimes hurt our feelings but it's the fact. Take for instance, I don't look like a million dollar one particular day. An old male friend came by and saw me looking like a typical boring housewife. Instead of the sweet and pleasing greeting, his way of saying hello is this, " You looked terrible!"
Well what can I say. I wanted to be accepted in the men's company so I had to swallow the insult. But at least I know they are being honest.
A few years back, when I was still working, most of my staff were male. On the day when they were free from any assignment, they'd sit around the office and we chat about unimportant things. Sometimes we end up playing cards just to ease the stress of too much work load. (No money involved)
To care for Soffian and not to give up on him was never an easy task. He had done almost everything that could give a mother a permanent nightmare. I shed too many tears for him all these years but I am proud to say that by enjoying the fun side of him makes me a better mom.
He had once said to me, ' I told my friend before, if it's were not for my mom, I don't know where I'd be today.' To me that was a brave confession.
I respect my children as much as they respect me. By doing so, I became the center of their lives. They love me for always being there for them, for loving them unconditionally and for simply being their mom.
For mothers with boys who'd sometimes get on your nerves, try to spend some time with them and be gentle. Most of these kids were looking for ways to get our attention. They felt they were not up to our expectations and are not good enough for us. They were bound to commit some nasty or silly mistakes on their way to adulthood.
Do not give up on them. Our love means the world to them.
I should stop now. My back is aching badly. Need to lie down a little. Have a nice evening everybody and be good to each other!
Rose
10th.Dec '15
