Let's Laugh A Little

Hey all,

I am feeling miserable for the past few weeks. Don't know if it will get better soon. So, to take my mind off some of the worrying and sick feelings, I search some jokes on the net to lighten up my mood and for you guys to laugh along with me.

The first joke was told to me by Sophie. Here we go, "Why do midgets laugh while running?"
Answer, because the grass was tickling their balls!.

A teacher was in a class talking about self-confidence. Anyone of you who feels they're stupid, please stand up. Not expecting any body to get up, she was surprised to see  one boy stood up. The teacher asked, "Why did you stand? Do you think you're stupid?"
The boy answered, "No, I stood because you're the only one standing. You know, others might get the idea that you are stupid."

Light travels faster than the sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or not, try missing a couple of months of your car installment.

A beggar approaches a grandmother at a beach with his hands out, "Please maam, could you spare me some money, I haven't eaten all day."
Grandma replied, "Oh good,then you won't suffer cramps when you go for a swim."

A man checked in a hotel for a conference. The hotel provides laptop inside the room. The man decided to send an email to his wife letting her know that he has safely arrived. Unfortunately, he had sent to a wrong address.
In another state  a woman had just got home from her husband's funeral. Sitting alone, she started to check on her email to see if any condolence message that she hasn't answered. A few minutes later she fainted. Her son who was sitting somewhere there, saw her mom fainted.
He crouched a little close to the laptop to read what had made his mom faint.
The subject colum in the email says, "Honey, I have safely arrived. I know you'd be surprised to receive this email, but you know what, this place is great. They had prepared a computer for us to communicate with our loved ones.
I am happy here and I've made sure that everything would be perfect once you arrived here tommorrow.
Honey, I hope you will have a beautiful journey here.

  A teacher asked his student a question, "Mark, show me where Australia is?"
 Mark then put his finger on the map and pointed it for all to see, "Here it is sir."
"Good," said the teacher. "Now Allen, tell me who found Australia?"
 "Mark, sir." Said Allen.

A magician was pulling his tricks on a large crowd in a cruise ship. But he uses the same tricks almost every nite. A parrot that belongs to the cruise captain watched his show every nite and knew his secret. The parrot got tired of the silly jokes and were spilling the beans to the audience. It would say, "Hey look, he is cheating, he's not using the same hat or all his cards are Aces or the flowers are inside his sleeves.
The magician was mad at the parrot but he did nothing. One day, the cruise ship got into trouble and sank. Both the magician and the parrot got drifted on a same plank. They eyed each other but neither spoke. The magician stared at the parrot full with hatred. They were in that situation for about a week and the magician thought to himself, why didn't this stupid bird fly away?
Then one day the parrot said, Ok, I give up, now tell me where did you hide the ship?"

After numerous time of attending interviews, Harris was about to be accepted to work at this company.
Boss-To-Be: For a start, you will be paid RM7.00 an hour. After 3 months, we will increase your wage to RM 10.00 per hour, agreed?
Harris         : I agree sir.
Boss-To-Be: Good, so when can you start?
Harris         : I will start after three months from today sir.

At a zoo, a zoo-keeper scolded his worker.
Zoo-Keeper : Zain, why didn't you lock the lion's cage last night?
Zain             : Don't worry boss, nobody dares to enter and steal the lion.

A boss in an office.
Boss : You are fired.
Staff : But sir, I didn't do anything.
Boss : That's why you're fired.

Well, did I manage to make you people laugh a little or at least smile a little? You did? Good for you. I did too. Feels much better now.

I'll catch up later with you guys. Have a great weekend and be happy!

Warmest love
Rose
22nd.Mar '15