SEKS DAN ANAK KITA

                                                     SEKS DAN ANAK KITA

Salam buat semua terutama buat anak-anak perempuan diluar sana.

Hari ni mak cik Rose nak cakap pasal sex. Sebelum tu saya nak minta maaf kepada semua ibu-bapa sekiranya tulisan saya ini menyinggung perasaan anda semua. Walaupun perkataan ini jarang kita ungkapkan terutamanya dihadapan anak-anak, tetapi saya rasa sudah sampai masanya kita mengenepikan perasaan malu dan tidak selesa dan memberi sedikit nasihat berkaitan perkara ini memandangkan keadaan diluar sana yang semakin parah.

Anak-anak, remaja adalah masa dimana kita selalunya membuat sesuatu perkara mengikut perasaan bukan akal fikiran. Akibatnya kita akan menurut perasaan seperti perasaan ingin tahu, perasaan ingin mencuba dan juga perasaan sayang kepada teman lelaki yang membawa anak-anak membuat satu kesilapan yang besar.

Disini mak cik Rose tak payah nak terangkan pasal dosa dan pahala kerana perkara ini dah terlalu umum untuk kita bincangkan. Semua tahu dosa berzina adalah salah satu daripada tujuh dosa besar. Apa yang ingin mak cik Rose bincangkan ialah, katakan setelah kita menjalin hubungan sex dengan teman lelaki kita (si lelaki tadi dah tentu-tentu nya happy sebab dah dapat kita), selepas sebulan kita mendapati diri kita hamil. Apa kita nak buat? Bunyi soalannya amat mudah. Tetapi inilah masa yang paling "crucial". Perasaan pertama yang kita rasa, mungkin panik, lepas tu takut,lepas tu sedih dan seterusnya semua perasaan akan datang yang membuatkan fikiran lebih bercelaru.
Kita call boyfriend tadi dan bagitau dia, senang saja dia cakap. Gugurkan kandungan itu.Kita dah melakukan satu dosa besar dengan hubungan sex itu tadi dan sekarang kita nak gugurkan pulak kandungan tu. Ini akan menambahkan dosa kita menjadi dosa besar yang kedua.
Didalam sepuluh orang lelaki yang mempunyai hubungan dengan wanita, mungkin 2 atau 3 orang sahaja yang akan bertanggungjawab sepenuhnya keatas perlakuannya tadi. Jadi bolehkah kita berharap kepada mereka?

Ini belum masuk bab malu lagi. Malu diri kita sendiri dan malu kepada ibu bapa. Anak-anak mak cik Rose dah banyak kali bila balik dari sekolah bagitau, "mama tau dak tadi kat sekolah, si polan si polan tu dah mengandung. Gambar dia buat hubungan sex ada dalam kamera telefon kawan kami". Ini baru disekolah. Kita dah rasa malu yang amat sangat sebab kawan-kawan semua dah tengok gambar kita belum lagi kat kampong. Silap haribulan, kita berhenti sekolah sebab tak tertanggung rasa malu.Bukankah ini akan menyebabkan masa depan yang cerah bertukar menjadi gelap?

Bayangkan perasaan anak-anak sendiri sekiranya ia terjadi kepada diri anda. Kepada siapa kita nak mengadu? Kita tinggal di Malaysia dan orang kita selalunya akan mengata dan menghina anak-anak perempuan yang terjebak didalam kes seperti ini. Ada banyak lagi dosa besar seperti arak atau berjudi yang orang Islam lakukan, tetapi berzina adalah sesuatu yang orang kita akan mencemik muka terhadap kita. Bolehkah kita lalui hari-hari kita dengan tenang?  

Bila kita cuba beritahu makbapa, maki hamun yang kita terima. Terutamanya ayah kita. Amat sukar bagi kaum bapa untuk menerima kesilapan anak mereka apabila berkaitan dengan kes sebegini. Saya rasa masih ramai ibu bapa yang tidak akan mahu mendengar penjelasan anak-anak mereka sebaliknya penampar atau tendangan yang akan diterima oleh anak-anak ini. Memang betul, anak-anak kita telah melakukan sesuatu yang amat memalukan kita sebagai ibu bapa, tetapi kalau kita sendiri memaling muka daripada menolong mereka, siapa lagi yang ada untuk mereka mengadu. Inilah salah satu sebab mengapa kita lihat banyak kes pembuangan bayi dimerata-rata tempat sampaikan sanggup buang anak kat dalam tong sampah. Mereka dah hilang arah, tak tahu apa nak buat lagi disebabkan cemuhan dan perasaan takut itu tadi.

Sebagai ibubapa, kita harus bersikap rasional, buruk baik pun anak kita juga, kalau nak ikut mulut orang, berpecah belah lah rumahtangga kita. Biarlah apa orang nak kata, bagi pihak kita, kita boleh menolong anak dengan membawa mereka ke rumah perlindungan yang banyak dibangunkan untuk menolong anak-anak gadis ini. Anak-anak ini dah pun menanggung satu beban yang berat disebabkan kesilapan mereka sendiri, janganlah kita menambah lagi penderitaan mereka yang boleh menyebabkan kita kehilangan anak-anak ini.

Pesan mak cik Rose, sekiranya perkara ini terjadi:

• carilah seseorang yang kita rasa dapat membantu kita dengan pemikiran yang positif
• Jangan panik. Cuba berfikir dengan tenang. Jalan yang sebaiknya kalau dapat bernikah dengan teman lelaki tadi. Tapi yang dah bekerja lah. Kalau dia pun baru 17 tahun, masih bermain guli lagi macam mana nak kawin..
• Jalan terbaik adalah mengelakkan hubungan sex dengan teman lelaki sebab akibat daripadanya terlalu banyak. Tak ada satu pun daripadanya yang baik.
• Jangan melakukan sesuatu yang boleh mengancam nyawa sendiri kerana ia tidak membawa kepada apa-apa kebaikan.

Kepada ibubapa pula, kita sama-sama dapat memantau anak-anak:

• Dengan sifat mengambil tahu aktiviti harian mereka. Bagi saya, masa yang paling sesuai untuk saya bersembang secara santai dengan anak-anak perempuan adalah semasa memandu, iaitu semasa kami bertiga sahaja. Tidak ada orang lelaki. Masa inilah saya akan memberi pandangan tentang hal-hal semasa, memberi sedikit panduan mengenai agama dan banyak lagi yang boleh dibualkan secara santai.Selalunya mereka terpaksa mendengar sebab dah tak boleh nak buat apa. Kereta bergerak, radio ditutup, mahu tak mahu terpaksa juga dia orang mendengar. Jadi sedikit sebanyak pesan kita itu akan masuk jugak kedalam kepala mereka sebab dah hari-hari dengar benda yang sama.
• Saya akan menghantar dan mengambil kemana saja mereka nak pergi. Saya juga benarkan mereka keluar dengan teman-teman sekolah walaupun budak lelaki. Ini untuk mengelak mereka daripada berasa terlalu dikongkong.
• Saya membuka ruang kepada mereka untuk memberitahu apa saja didalam fikiran mereka termasuk bercakap mengenai sex walaupun perkara ini agak janggal dan memalukan.
• Saya percayakan anak-anak perempuan saya dan walaupun mereka tidak menutup aurat sepenuhnya tetapi mereka tahu had-had batasan yang boleh dan tidak boleh mereka lakukan. 

Saya bukanlah seorang yang terpelajar atau pun seorang yang tinggi ilmu ugamanya, tetapi dengan sedikit kesedaran yang ada, saya ingin kongsikan masaalah yang melanda anak-anak gadis melayu kita dari menjadi lebih parah lagi. Saya juga bukanlah ibu yang sempurna tetapi sekadar ingin bersama-sama memberi panduan kepada anak-anak gadis agar sentiasa peka dengan keadaan disekeliling.

Sekian. Wassalam. Sekali lagi saya ingin memohon maaf dari semua sekiranya tulisan saya ini menyinggung perasaan sesiapa saja diluar sana.

Rose
30th.June '12
                               
                                                             SEX AND GIRLS

Hello again to all of you ,

Today, I'd like us to talk about the taboo subject, especially in our country,Malaysia, and that subject is SEX. Before I proceed, I wish to apologize to all the parents who feel that this subject shouldn't be brought up at all or shouldn't be discussed in an open manner like blog or face book. Even though we would never want to bring up the subject unnecessarily in front of the girls, I think it's high time we put aside the uncomfortable feelings whenever this subject was brought up and start educating them as much as we can.

Girls, during our adolescent years, we tend to follow our hearts not our head,hence we will follow what the heart says. There are curiosity, then, wanting to know the unknown and then there is a feeling of love (you may think it's your greatest love of all) towards your boyfriend. This is when the biggest mistake may have taken place. You give in to him. 

Here, I don't wish to talk about the sin we committed when we involved ourselves in sex before marriage as I am positive each and everyone of us are fully aware of this.
What I want to talk about is, let say after we had had sex with our boy friend, we found out that we were pregnant.What am I gonna do? That is a simple and straight forward question. But, really, this is the most crucial time for a girl at a tender age to have to think big about her life and another life inside her.
First she'd panic, then maybe fear, then sadness overcomes the first two and later all mixed emotions come cramping inside her head.
She may by then called her boyfriend telling him about the unfortunate news. The best answer she can  get from him was abort the child. Easy for him to say. Already we had committed one of seven biggest sins and now to abort the baby?
In 10 men that is having a relationship with women, maybe two or three would take full responsibility towards their women.So, can we place our hopes on them?

The above is the initial feelings once we realized what had happened.
What about shame? By now we are so ashamed of ourselves and we had caused our parents (especially the Moslem community) the most unspeakable embarrassment they might face in their lives.
A few times, my daughters coming home from school and told me, "Ma, you know there's a girl who got pregnant and they got her sex pictures downloaded in the phone and everybody has access to it."
News like this spread like an open fire. Soon the whole school will talk about it. It makes you walk with your head down. Full of remorse and ashamed of yourselves. You would even think of quitting school. And then what? You lost the better future you may had because you had to leave school earlier than you should.

Who could you turn to should it happen to you? We live in this community where people will talk and insult us and use disparaging remarks that makes you cringe with humiliation. Can we lead our lives as normal as before?

When we tried telling our parents, we would receive a flow of abusive words, words that is sharper than a sword. Father tend to usually be the harshest. As if not enough with his abusive language, some would go to the extreme, by physically abuse, like slapping or kicking their daughters for bringing shame to the family. Worse come to worst, the girls would be chased out from the family.

It is true that our daughters had bring shame to the family but if we too were to turn our back on them, who else is there to help them in their most darkest hour? This is why we see many new-born babies were being thrown into the rubbish bin, left by the river banks, being flushed into the toilet bowl, these despicable manners outraged us but who can we blame. The girls did what they did because at every turn and corner only thing they got is that scornful looks and this could lead them to do what they had done. Together let's think about it!

As parents, we should act rational.Good or bad, they are still our children. Let people talk. We should be protecting our children even though they had hurt us beyond words. Take them to Girls' Shelter that caters for girls in this sort of situation.
They had made mistake and probably had learnt their lessons well, we play our part by being a mom or a dad for them. That should be more than enough for them.

For girls, should it happen to you :

• Find someone who is positive thinking and talk to her/him
• Don't panic. Think calmly. The best way is to marry the guy but if he is just seventeen and jobless and still playing video games, than you are better off without him.
• The best way is to avoid sex with your boyfriend ( wait until you are married) 
• Don't do anything foolish that can harm yourself. Remember every problem can be solved.

For parents:

• Find out what is their daily activities. As for me, the best time to talk to them about the birds and the bees and anything in general is when I am driving. Me and my 2 daughters inside the car. I would talk about anything that came to my mind. They had no choice but to listen since the radio is off and the car is moving. 
• I would usually send and fetch them to anywhere they want to go. They can go for bowling or movie or have meals with their friend. It can be troublesome at times but at least I know they are safe.
• I let them speak their mind about almost everything they want to know including sex. It is kind of awkward and embarrassing but someone had to do it.
• Last but not least, I trust my children. I know them better than they know themselves. I believe we should show some respect towards children and we'll receive the same if not more from them.

I am not the most educated mother and I am not a highly religious person, but with a little conscience that I have, I'd like to share the thoughts with all about this dilemma which is faced by us all.

That's all for today. Pheww..That's a long one. Hope none of you would stop reading half way through.

Best regards,

Rose

30th.June '12

LET'S TALK ABOUT MEN

Salam buat semua,

                                                         SOAL LELAKI

Hari ni jom kita bercakap pasal orang lelaki pula. Kenapa dengan orang lelaki? Sebab kalau dah tak ada cerita yang lebih menarik, orang perempuan suka bercakap pasal orang lelaki. Macam orang lelaki juga, kalau tak cakap pasal perempuan, topic yang menarik ialah kereta atau gadjet terbaru..

Mula-mula kita cakap pasal perangai tak elok mereka.
i) Pemalas tahap gaban. Kalau balik rumah tu, buang baju macam ada house-keeping staff yang akan bersihkan bilik dia. Dah makan, pinggan sebiji pun tak reti nak basuh. Bukan tak ada yang rajin..ada juga, tapi tak ramai.

ii) Yang mana yang handsome sikit tu, dia punya perasan tu lebih dari perempuan. Macam anak lelaki saya. Dia kata sambil melawak.."Ni ada rupa, kira okay lah tu". Amboi perasannya. Saya pun tak mau mengalah menjawab balik, "memang la awak tu ada rupa sikit, tapi gene tu mai dari mana? Dari mama dan abah jugak kan? Hah .Syok jugak kenakan anak kadang-kadang.

iii) Dia orang kalau cakap, selalu fikir dia saja yang betul. Dia buat salah pun, beriya-iya kata betul, kalau betul lagi kuatlah suara dia orang.

iv) Orang lelaki ni, bila dia tahu orang perempuan boleh buat semua kerja, dia akan lepas tangan. Contoh seperti bayar bil, bayar sewa rumah, tingkap kat rumah pecah atau apa-apa saja. Dia orang akan buat tak tahu sebab dia tahu orang perempuan selalunya akan buat juga. Cara terbaik nak elakkan sakit hati, kita pun buat tak tahu, biarkan saja.

v) Ubat gigi: Benda ni rasanya dilalui oleh seluruh penduduk alam iaitu bila nak picit ubat gigi, kenapa picit dari tengah atau atas, salah ke kalau picit dari bawah.


Sifat semulajadi lelaki yang perempuan suka :

i) Kita rasa selamat bila mereka berada disebelah, tak kiralah lelaki itu, suami ke, kekasih ke, anak ke ataupun adik/abang. Time tu kalau nak bergaduh dengan orang pun boleh sebab kita tahu ada orang yang boleh protect kita.

ii) Sifat kepimpinan : Sebab itu Allah jadikan lelaki sebagai imam sebab mereka selalunya tegas dan berani apabila berhadapan dengan masaalah dan sifat ini menjadi  milik mereka sejak azali dan semula-jadi. Sifat-sifat inilah yang selalunya disenangi oleh kaum wanita tapi jangan lah disalah guna pulak.

iii) Lelaki memang jenis yang lasak. Perempuan suka mereka yang aktif dalam sukan dengan bentuk badan yang tegap dan sasa. Kalau muka jambu macam K Pop tu boleh buat kita rasa macam kawan dengan perempuan la pulak. Ingat lelaki je suka tengok badan perempuan?

iv)   Sifat tegas. Tegas itu sexy. Tegas ya, bukan garang . Hah..itu tak sexy, itu buat perempuan menyampah . Bila memberi arahan, gunakan suara tegas bukan menengking. Barulah ramai peminat.

v) Orang lelaki yang kreatif. Bila dia free, dia tengok pagar dah nak jatuh, dia tegakkan balik. Dia tengok basikal buruk masih boleh digunakan, dia modify.. Ini semua orang perempuan tak berapa nak pandai buat, jadi dia suka bila orang lelaki buat kerja2 yang macam ni..nampak macho.

Jadi, orang lelaki, gunakan kelebihan yang Allah Ta'alla anugerahkan kepada anda semua ke jalan yang bermanfaat bukan pergi melepak tak tentu hala.

Rasanya itulah yang dapat saya kongsi untuk hari ini. Kita jumpa di lain kali pula, InsyaAllah..

Rose 28th.June '12
*******************************************************************************

Hello to all out there,
                                           LET'S TALK ABOUT MEN

Today, lets talk about men. Why men? Because that's a favorite topic besides shopping. Just like men, if they 're not talking about cars or newly obtained gadget, then their next favorite topic is..girls.

First, let's talk about bad habits:
i) Highest-rating for laziness goes to...men! Once they got home from work, they'd take off their shirts or pants or underwear and leave it where they were standing. As if in a few moments, a house-keeping staff will be coming and clear all the mess they caused. After meal, the single plate that they used were just left in the washing basin for their old-time favorite person to wash, their mom.
Not that all men are lazy but majority are.

ii) Guys who are good-looking usually are so vain that they thought they can get away with their looks. My son once mischievously said to me, "I got the looks, so I guess I should be alright" (I was nagging because he was skipping school every now and then) of which I replied sweetly, Yeah sure you got the looks but whose gene were there inside you? It came from me and your dad right? So, that makes us better looking than you are. You are only the secondary product. Sometimes it's nice to be on the upper hand than your children.

iii) They always think they are right even when they were wrong. Men!!!

iv) Men like to take advantage of women's helpfulness. Once they know women would usually do these things, they'd shift the responsibility to us. Take for example, paying utility bills, house rent or a broken window, they would ignore it because they knew one way or the other, we will end up doing it.
To avoid heart-sick, just leave it.

v) This problem has affected all house-hold in the whole universe. Tooth-paste! You must be either grinning or grimacing when you reached at this sentence. Yeap.. why can't they press it from the bottom of the tube? Why must it be in the middle or upper neck. God..annoying to the extend of madness. But then, since I am sure they will not change sometime sooner, the next best thing to do is, If you can't beat them, join them.

POSITIVE TRAITS IN MEN THAT WOMEN LIKE :

i) We feel safe and protected with them beside us, be it your husband, your son or brother. They have that power that makes us even ready to pick a fight with anybody out there knowing that our men are by our sides.

ii) Leadership : That is why God created men to be a leader. Some women may not agree with me here. They have these calmness and firmness when faced/shoved with huge amount of workload or problems. They were born with it and this is one of the traits that women find it appealing. Just don't over-do it guys!

iii) Girls like men who is active in outdoor activities. That rugged and  unkempt look attracted women better than the metro sexual type. They've got great healthy bodies. Think only guys admire women's curve? Girls do too, you know? Ehmm...Can this be categorized in positive trait? Well, never mind. As long as girls out there find it okay.

iv) Firm : Firm is sexy. Not harsh. Harshness is so not sexy. In fact it make the girls to want to run away as far as they can. Firm is when men take hold of a situation and deal with it authoritatively.

v) A handy guy. A guy who saw an old bicycle lying at the garage, grab it and work it until it works like normal or clearing up the shrubs behind the house. Those were the things that women don't usually do but like it when men pick up their tools and sweat it out.

So, guys, use the gift that God has bestowed upon you to be a better person not misusing it.

I guess that's all for today. Until then, ciao..

Rose
28th.June '12

Dulu Dan Sekarang

Salam buat semua,

Petang tadi semasa duduk menonton TV dengan keadaan hujan renyai dan cuaca mendung, saya tiba-tiba teringat zaman ketika kecil-kecil dulu.
Rasanya sesiapa yang dilahirkan dalam tahun 60-an dan 70-an adalah mereka yang paling bertuah kerana dapat menikmati kehidupan yang boleh kita katakan sebagai the "best of both worlds."
Mesti yang kat luar sana nak tahu kenapa,kan? Macam ni, zaman kami dulu,balik aja sekolah, makan kejap, lepas tu terus pergi mengaji Quran. Habis mengaji dalam pukul 3ptg macam tu, kami semua dah free. tak ada tuition, tak ada kelas tarian ke, kelas muzik ka. Free sampai kemalam.
Jadi, masa free ni, kita orang sangat kreatif.
1) Kat belakang rumah ada sungai kecik, tak berapa dalam sangat. Saya,pompuan sorang ja, bersama kawan-kawan yang semuanya lelaki, pergi ke sungai tu,kami buat belat (bahasa utara iaitu menambak kedua-dua belah laluan air, kemudian mencedok air dari dalam tempat yang dibelat itu, dan buang airnya. )Apabila air kering, ada banyak ikan didalam sana untuk kami menangkapnya. 


2) Kalau dah habis-habis boring pun, kami main guli. Saya salah seorang yang terer main guli. Sampaikan tok marah, dia kata hang ni nak jadi jantan ka pompuan. Mengaji Quran pun tak senang, ingat nak cari pot kat mana.Habis saja mengaji, kain sarong hilang ganti dengan seluar pendek.


3) Lagi satu, main "cak plong" saya tak tahu tempat lain panggil apa mainan ni. Pakai buluh dipotong lebih kurang 12". Lepas tu ada pulak hulunya. Didalam buluh tadi kami masukkan buah cenderai. Ketuk biar masuk kedalam buluh kecil tadi lepas tu tembak pakai hulu tadi. Ooh sakit yang amat kalau kena. Tapi thrillnya main tu, sampai tak kisah kalau sakit.


4) Ada satu lagi mainan, iaitu rounders. Lebih kurang macam main cricket atau baseball. Zaman tu nak beli proper punya peralatan,susah. Jadi kami curi aja kayu kat rumah sapa2 dan buat macam kayu pemukul. Bola yang kami pakai tu bola getah, beli kat kedai apek. Boleh tahan jugak jauhnya dari rumah. tapi sebab semangat nak main, ada saja orang yang volunteer pergi beli. 


Ada macam-macam lagi mainan yang kita orang buat. Sebab tu budak zaman dulu kalau setakat jatuh basikal ka, kena sengat tebuan ka dah jadi macam rutin.
Yang paling penting, kat mana pun kami main, tak ada siapa kisah sebab zaman dulu tak ada perogol berkeliaran macam sekarang. Tak ada pembunuh yang membunuh anak-anak yang tengah bermain. 


Bila malam, saya kadang-kadang kerumah jiran merangkap kawan sepermainan untuk membuat kerja sekolah. Saya jalan dalam gelap sorang-sorang. Takut tu memang ada, tapi bukan takut orang buat apa-apa tapi takut hantu. Time tu tak ada lampu letrik lagi, jadi pakai pelita. Duduk sama-sama buat kerja sekolah. 


Bila masuk remaja, dalam tahun 80-an, gila muzik pulak. Time tu zaman Search, Awie, Madonna dan Whitney Houston. Mainan game seperti video game, arcade game dan nintendo games. Duduk mengadap berjam-jam jugak lamanya.
Konsert pun dah banyak. Zaman pun ikut berubah.

Jadi, pada pandangan saya, kita sebagai ibu-bapa, janganlah terlalu menekankan seratus peratus pelajaran akedemik sahaja kerana anak-anak ini perlukan kehidupan kanak-kanak yang normal seperti yang termaktub didalam sejarah kemanusiaan. Biarlah anak-anak membesar dengan mempunyai kenangan indah sewaktu kecil dan pada masa yang sama berjaya dalam kehidupan seharian mereka. Kita dulu juga melalui fasa hidup yang sama dan kita juga dapat menjadi manusia yang berjaya dihari ini.
Jadi kenapa tidak anak-anak kita mendapat peluang seperti yang pernah kita lalui dulu.

Sekian. Wassalam.
24th.June '12
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MY CHILDHOOD YEARS

Hello all,

It was cloudy and drizzling and I was watching some hopeless what's-the-name-of-this-garbage movie just now when suddenly my mind was driven back to the old days.
I was thinking, whomever were born in the sixties or the seventies had the best what life had to offer as we can categorized those years as having the best of both worlds.

I am sure people out there wanted to know why, right? Those days, after school usually about 1 o'clock we'll reach home. Hit the shower and had a quick lunch. Then left for Quran reading. After this, we are totally free. No tuition, no dancing class or music class. Free until the next day.
So, during these time, we became creative.

Here, let me list some of the things that made our lives wonderful.
1) Behind grandma's house, there was a narrow stream. Not too deep.Along with my all male buddies, we jump into the stream, block both sides of water ways with mud and then started to scoop the water out using pails until the little pool dried up. Inside there, a lot of fish were swimming that made us scream with delight. That is the whole point. Get some fish, bring it home and I saved myself from grandma's nagging.

2) Sometimes, when really there's nothing to do, we usually end up playing marbles. I was good at it. Grandma used to be mad at me saying "what are you? A boy or a girl? I couldn't care less. Life is good. We usually can't wait for the Quran reading session to end, busy thinking where can we find a place to play.

3) This is one game I liked the most. We called it Cak Plong. Grandpa knew how to make this. We had to have a bamboo. Cut it about 12". Then we had to find a little round fruits, I don't know the word in English.
Push the little round fruit inside the bamboo and shoot your enemy with it. Ouch..it hurts like hell. I mean really hurt but it was the best game of all.

4) There's another game. We called it rounders. Similar to cricket or baseball. Back then, it's hard to find a proper equipment for any game. What we did was, we cycled around and stole a solid wood from someone's house. For the ball, there's always a volunteer who'd cycle to an old Chinese guy's  shop and bought us a rubber ball. Mission accomplished. What a great day!

There were many more games that we played back then. That is why, children those days were a lot tougher than now. Fell down from a tree or stung by a hornet is something of a routine for us.

Most important thing is, wherever we played, nobody bothers, not even Grandma, because back then there were no rapists roaming looking for their preys nor was there any killers killing playing children.

I sometimes walked to my neighbour's cum playmate's house to do homework. I would walk in the dark as there was no electricity yet back then. I wasn't afraid of serial killer or things like that but rather of ghosts. As if I had seen it before!

Then I became a teenager in the eighties. I was crazy both with local music and international music. There were Awie, Search, Madonna and my idol Whitney Houston.
There were arcade games, video games, nintendo games and what have you. Wasting hours playing these games.
Concerts were in abundance. We forgot the days when playing hide and seek was the IN thing.
Those days passed. We flow with the future. Future leads us to modernization. And here we are today.

What I can say and from my point of view, as parents, give the children some space. Do not push them too hard for an excellent result academically. Let them have a normal childhood like we did " as stated in the history of humanity." Let them grow up with that wonderful memories of childhood tucked deep inside them.

Rose 24th.June '12

UNTUK PANDUAN GADIS

Macam mana nak jaga hati pasangan masing-masing? Banyak cara dan tingkah laku kita yang samada akan membuatkan pasangan kita semakin sayang atau semakin menjauhkan diri.

Apa yang ingin saya kongsi adalah melalui pengalaman sendiri dan dari pengamatan di sekeliling.
Mari kita lihat apa yang patut dibuat oleh seorang gadis/perempuan untuk memastikan si lelaki akan tetap disampingnya untuk jangka waktu yang lama,InsyaAllah.

UNTUK PANDUAN GADIS/PEREMPUAN:

1) Yang pertama sekali,jangan sekali-kali bersifat mengongkong.  
Telah diketahui umum,lelaki amat tidak suka di kongkong. Kalau kebiasaan mereka melepak bersama kawan atau menonton bola dikedai mamak, biarkan begitu. Masa kita bersama mereka akan lebih dihargai apabila mereka tahu kita tidak terlalu menyekat pergerakan mereka.
2) Jangan terlebih cemburu. Memang, cemburu itu tandanya sayang tapi kalau dah terlebih, itu akan menjadi masaalah kepada kedua-dua belah pihak.Pendamkan dulu perasaan itu kemudian siasat. Lepas tu barulah kita soal siasat mereka. Jangan lakukan sebaliknya.
3) Jangan bersifat "available". Sifat ini akan membuatkan mereka fikir yang kita senang digunakan untuk sementara. Lelaki telah dicipta oleh Tuhan dengan sifat suka memburu. Jadi biarkan mereka memburu kita bukan sebaliknya. Mereka akan cepat jemu dengan gadis yang memburu mereka.
4) Jangan terlalu bergantung kepada lelaki. Ini akan membuat mereka seolah-olah sesak nafas kerana kita terlalu mengharap kepada mereka. Cuba tunjukkan sikit sifat berdikari kita.
5) Jangan terlebih manja. Bila dah over sangat manja tu, bukan saja lelaki tu naik muak, orang sekeliling tengok pun dah turut menjuih mulut. Manja kena ada sebab sifat perempuan memang macam tu tapi bukan terlebih.
6) Jangan cuba mengubah cara mereka. Sebagai contoh,sepertinya mereka menghisap rokok. Anda baru mula berkawan dan anda meminta si lelaki tadi berhenti merokok. Dah pulak tu siap bagi warning kalau tak henti kita break. Tak boleh lah macam tu. Memang boleh minta mereka henti merokok tapi secara perlahan-lahan.
7) Jangan memalukan mereka dihadapan rakan taulan mereka. Ego lelaki sangat tinggi. Jika kita melakukan sesuatu yang menyinggung perasaan mereka, ia akan mengambil masa yang lama untuk memujuk semula.
8) Jangan terlalu menonjolkan diri. Perkara ini kerap dilakukan oleh gadis terutamanya dihadapan rakan-rakan teman lelaki tadi. Mereka mungkin tidak akan menunjukkan rasa tidak senang disitu tetapi apabila bersama kita baru diluahkannya. Jadi jangan ulangi lagi.
9) Jangan bersifat bengis atau meninggi diri terutamanya selepas berkahwin. Ini salah satu punca yang menyebabkan kurangnya kemesraan didalam rumah tangga kerana sisuami merasa diri tidak dihormati lagi.
10) Jangan berhenti kerja. Se elok-eloknya simpan kerja kita walaupun suami mampu untuk menanggung diri kita. Ini kerena apabila kita berada dirumah sepanjang masa, suami akan cepat bosan kerana dia tahu kita akan sentiasa dirumah menanti kepulangannya. Ingat lelaki selalu suka memburu dan sebab kedua kerana kita boleh ditinggalkan pada bila-bila masa sahaja pada zaman sekarang kerana banyak pilihan diluar sana yang menanti.


                                             FOR GIRL'S EYES ONLY

How to keep our men/spouse?
There are many ways and behavior that can either bring us closer to the one we love or the other way round.
What I am about to write derives through my experience throughout the years of my marriage life of 24 ups and down years.

Let's see what can be done to ensure our men/spouse will be by our side for a long time if not for life!

1) First and foremost, don't ever be dominating. A slight dominating is cute and acceptable!
    Men were known to like to be free.Let them be. If hanging out with friends or watching football is something that they treasure, by all means,let them. They tend to appreciate us more the time spent with them when they know we are giving them some space.
2) Don't over-jealous. That's the worst thing anybody could do. Jealousy is inside all of us. It is good when under control, it shows that we love our partner. Should the need arise for that feeling to emerge, try to keep it inside first, then investigate, then and only then we confront them.
3) Don't become "available". This attitude will make them think that they can have us for fun for a while. Men/boys were created by Him to be a "hunter". They love hunting not hunted. So girls, play your cards well, be nice and intelligent yet don't be too accommodating for them.Believe me, they appreciate you more.Doesn't matter if you are white,black,brown or pale, men are the same.They want something that is hard to get.
4) Don't be over-dependent on them. This will suffocate them. Give some space,let them breathe. Show that you are capable of handling things on your own.
5) Don't be overly sweet. When girls start over-giggling, over sweet, not only the boys will get disgusted,that feeling were shared by the onlookers as well.
 6) Don't try to change them.Take for example,smoking. You had just gotten to know them,and you were asking them to quit smoking.That is simply not the right way to do it. Take things easy and it will bring you somewhere.
7) Don't embarrass them in front of their buddies. That's a strict no-no things to do. Not cool at all. Say something that could make them look great in his friends' eyes.They will love that. Remember, men's ego are big.
8) Don't try to stand out excessively in front of his buddies. Girls tend to make this mistake all the time. It's like they are trying to win all his friends adoration. Stay moderate.
9) Don't be harsh or I am-better-than-you attitude especially after we got married. These attitude usually contribute to less or zero intimacy between spouse as he feels that he'd lost the respect from his partner.
10) Don't quit your job. Even if your spouse is willing and can afford your life-style,it is better for us to stay working as we wouldn't know if one day he'd change his mind and left us with nothing.

So girls/ladies, whatever we do, remember, don't show your love towards them more than we should. Keep some love for ourselves. These will keep us sane should the unwanted happens in the future.

Rose
22nd.June '12

PERKARA YANG MEMALUKAN DIDALAM HIDUP ANDA

Didalam tempuh hidup kita dari kecik hingga sekarang, pasti ramai yang pernah melalui saat-saat yang memalukan. Perkara sebegini terjadi dengan tidak disangka-sangka. Apa yang anda buat apabila perkara begini terjadi? Bagi saya, tiada apa yang dapat dilakukan hanya berharap masa berlalu dengan cepat ataupun kita sendiri berlalu pergi dari situ dengan cepat.

Tapi bila dikenangkan semula, ia menjadi satu bahan yang melucukan.Saya telah beberapa melalui keadaan ini. Apa yang saya tulis bukanlah untuk mengaibkan diri sendiri atau apa-apa, cuma ia mungkin dapat membuat semua tersenyum dan mudah-mudahan hari anda lebih ceria dengan cerita-cerita sebegini.

Dibawah saya listkan beberapa kejadian yang memalukan yang saya alami dulu.

Insiden pertama: Ini berlaku diawal perkahwinan saya (dalam 24 tahun dahulu). Saya bersama suami sedang menunggu bas di Prangin Road,Penang untuk balik ke Tg Bungah. Saya masih ingat saya memakai blouse putih dan skirt labuh berwarna hijau. Semasa menunggu bas dan disebabkan tak ada tempat duduk sebab ramai orang, saya pun berdiri bersama suami. Dalam semua-semua hari, kenapalah hari yang saya berdiri tu, tiba-tiba angin bertiup kuat. Betul-betul kuat. Kertas-kertas melayang, kotak-kotak dikedai berhampiran bertaburan dan keadaan agak kelam kabut ketika itu. Tiba-tiba, dihadapan manusia yang ramai itu,skirt kembang saya tadi tu terangkat dari bahagian belakang dengan agak tinggi. Saya dan suami sama-sama cuba untuk menarik skirt itu kebawah. Tiba-tiba angin datang dari arah bertentangan dan sekali lagi skirt saya ditiup angin. Kali ini dari bahagian depan pula. Terus dengan cepat saya meletak tangan dihadapan untuk mengelaknya dari ditiup lebih tinggi. Malunya bukan kepalang. Setelah angin reda saya tersenyum sendirian. Teringat pulak bagaimana gambar Marilyn Monroe yang gambarnya memakai skirt putih dan sengaja dibuat supaya ditiup angin sebegitu rupa menjadi masyhur serata dunia. Jadi jugak aku macam Marilyn Monroe tetapi bukan membanggakan tetapi amat memalukan.

Insiden kedua. Masa tu saya dan suami bekerja di Pan Pacific Pangkor sebagai penyambut tetamu. Minggu itu, kami bekerja dalam shift sama. Pagi itu kami bekerja tiga orang, saya, suami dan seorang lagi rakan India bernama Grace. Suami saya didalam office membuat paperwork untuk hari itu manakala saya dan Grace berada didepan. Selepas beberapa ketika, setelah selesai kerjanya, dia keluar dari office dan datang kedepan. Grace berdiri hampir dengan switchboard manakala saya agak jauh dari situ. Suami saya terus berjalan kearah Grace dan kemudian memegang belakang Grace. Saya memerhati dari tempat saya berdiri dan mendiamkan diri seketika. Pada waktu itu saya tahu yang suami saya telah tersilap orang. Disangkanya Grace itu saya kerana kami mempunyai ketinggian yang hampir sama serta fesyen rambut juga sama. Grace yang pada mulanya diam tiba-tiba baru perasan yang suami saya disebelahnya. Dia kemudian pusing mengadap suami saya, "Hey Ismail. What are you doing? I am not Rose la.." Suami terkejut dan menarik tangannya dengan segera.saya tidak dapat menahan diri lalu ketawa dengan sekuat hati. Nasib baik tak ada tetamu yang berlalu pada waktu itu.

Insiden ketiga: Saya perlu ke bilik air dengan segera.Saya bersama dua orang rakan keluar untuk makan-makan bersama.Saya berjalan laju sebab perlu segera melepaskan hajat. Masuk saja saya kedalam bilik air, saya terasa seperti ada sesuatu yang pelik. Apa yang peliknya? Saya nampak urinal atau tempat kencing lelaki. Oh..oh..saya ni dah silap bilik air ke? Nak jadikan malu ni terlebih, ada pulak satu mamat ni keluar dari toilet. Dia tengok saya dengan muka selamba macam tak ada apa-apa tapi saya yang dah terlebih malu ni cepat-cepat bagi tau "tengah tunggu anak akak".Cepat pulak idea tunggu anak tu mai, kalau tak kantoi jugak aku tadi, fikir saya sendirian. Saya biarkan dia keluar dulu, kemudian cepat cepat saya berjalan keluar sebelum orang lain pulak masuk. Yang peliknya tu,perut yang memulas tadi tu pun boleh berhenti rasa sakit semasa keadaan meruncing.

Ini adalah di antara perkara yang memalukan dalam hidup saya. Ada banyak lagi yang memalukan tetapi agak keterlaluan untuk di kongsi bersama.
Kalau ada sesiapa yang ingin berkongsi pengalaman ini, bolehlah share bersama.
Sekian untuk entri ketiga saya. Insyaallah kita jumpa lagi di entri yang akan datang.

Wassalam.





SOME OF MY MOST AWKWARD AND EMBARRASSING MOMENTS

Throughout our lives, since the day we got to know the world until today, most of us must have went through some embarrassing and awkward moments one way or the other. It happened when we least expect it. What would you do in a situation like this? As for me, I did nothing. Just pray that it will go away faster than The Flash.

 I've been through these many a time of which I am sure many of you out there share the same moment like I did and you know what? It became funny after a while.

Listed below were some of my most embarrassing and awkward moments in my live.
First incident: It happened at the early time of my marriage. My husband and I were waiting for a bus at Prangin Rad,Penang to return home at Tg.Bungah. I remembered wearing a white blouse and a green skirt. We were standing while waiting for the bus to arrive. Suddenly a strong wind blows. I mean really strong. You can see the shred of papers around were in the air and boxes stacked by the shop-lots thrown to every direction.Everybody was running and looking for some sort of shelter. Suddenly, my skirt were lifted from the back. I shout to my husband to help me pull down the skirt and the next thing we knew, the wind changed direction. This time it blew from the front. My skirt lifted from the front. I placed my two hands in front to cover it. Are you thinking what I am thinking. Yeap! You got it right! It reminded me of Marilyn Monroe in her white dress crouching placing her hands trying to cover the skirt. But then she seemed to enjoy it and she looked magnificent. Mind you, that picture made her well known through-out the universe. As for me only God knows how I feel back then. I am dark skinned so I guess people can't guess how red I was at that moment.

Second incident: It happened in late 80's. Both my husband and I were working at Pan Pacific Resort in Pangkor. We were placed on the same shift that week. That morning, there were 3 of us working. My husband, our colleague Grace and me.(both Grace and I were receptionist while my husband was holding 2 posts, receptionist and auditor) He was inside the office finishing some of his auditing work. After done with his paperwork, he came out. Grace was standing next to the swithboard whereas I was slightly further.My husband walked straight to where Grace was standing and placed his hand on Grace's shoulder and was stroking it lightly.Grace was quiet for a while maybe thinking what the hell was going on. I was watching from afar and knew at that time that he had mistook me for Grace. Grace and I share the same height, same hair-style and even our skin was nearly the same, so can't wholly blame my poor husband hundred percent.I suppressed my laughter waiting to see what happened next. Suddenly Grace got her voice. Slowly she turned towards my husband and said, Hey Ismail, what do you think you are doing? Faster than a strike of lightning, my husband pulled his hand away from Grace and murmured a lame sorry. I laughed my heart out when Grace turned her face towards me with an angry voice and said ,"What? You think it's funny?" Seeing her red with anger I stopped laughing and apologized. I shared the story among friends and always end up  laughing without finishing the story.

Third Incident : I need to use the wash room, urgent. I mean real urgent! I was out with my 2 friends . After excusing myself, I walked fast past some tables and finally reached the wash room. I went inside and was about to enter the little room when I feel something is not right here. What is it? Then I realize there's a few urinal fixed against the wall. Don't tell me I got the wrong room. At that particular time, a guy walked out the little room and looked at me as if I am one of them. He smiled like that was the most natural thing to do in that situation.I smiled back and said something like "I am waiting for my son, he's inside." Wow, where did that idea come from? It came fast.I let him walked out first before quickly let myself out of the wash room. I didn't even feel the need to use the toilet after that.

Those were some of the most awkward and embarrassing moments in my life. There are many more embarrassing incidents which I would rather not share out here.
If you had gone through like what I've been through why not share it here..
Till then, will see you guys soon with my next entry.. Have a nice day!!!

Kasih Ibu Bapa

Salam buat semua,

Hari ni saya nak kongsi rasa sedih dengan semua dengan berita kematian 3 orang anak gadis sekali gus.Salah seorang dari mereka berjauh hati dengan si ayah yang menegurnya mengenai suatu perkara. Si anak mungkin merajuk dan keluar dengan menaiki motosikal bersama 2 lagi rakannya. Mereka di langgar oleh sebuah van di satu persimpangan lampu isyarat. Mayat anak anak ini bergelimpangan di situ pada lebih kurang pukul 11:30malam.
Anak2 saya pergi kesekolah yang sama dengan mereka.Walaupun bukan teman rapat tetapi kejadian itu tetap meninggalkan kesan dihati semua yang mendengarnya. Kejadian yang berlaku malam kemarin (3hb.Jun) sesungguhnya amat menginsafkan sesiapa jua yang mempunyai anak.

Adalah sesuatu yang biasa bagi ibubapa menegur anak-anak dalam semua perkara. Itu perkara lazim. Bagi si anak pula teguran dari ibubapa kerapkali disalah ertikan sebagai mengongkong,menyakitkan hati,bosan dan sebagainya. Sungguh anak-anak ini tidak memahami betapa dalamnya kasih sayang ibubapa terhadap mereka sehinggakan apabila terlihat sedikit kerutan diwajah mereka ketika dalam tidur,sudah pasti mengundang rasa risau amat sangat dihati kita.
Juga mungkin tidak terlintas oleh mereka yang kita akan sanggup mengambil apa jua kesakitan yang mereka rasai dan juga sanggup mempertaruhkan nyawa kita demi menyelamatkan mereka. Kehidupan anak-anak ini tidak ternilai atau tidak dapat ditandingi dengan apa jua kemewahan hidup. Ini adalah satu bentuk kasih sayang, cinta yang tidak akan terpadam walaupun didalam dunia hari ini yang dikatakan materialistik.

Kepada anak-anak, cuba untuk mengerti apa jua yang ibubapa lakukan adalah untuk anak-anak. Tak mungkin ada ibubapa yang sanggup menghantar jenazah anak mereka untuk dikebumikan.Sebaliknya,keadaan atau tugas itu sepatutnya dilakukan oleh anak-anak buat ibubapa mereka.Kesedihan yang kita rasai terhadap kematian rakan atau sahabat kita tidak sehebat kesedihan serta keperitan yang dirasai oleh ibubapa. Bayangkan setelah selesai tugas mengebumikan jasad anak buat kali terakhir, mereka akan pulang kerumah. Disinilah bermulanya kesedihan itu. Akan terbayang oleh si ibu bagaimana anaknya akan dileteri kerana masih belum bangun tidur. Ada ketikanya ibu atau bapa tadi seolah-olah terlihat kelibat anak yang telah pergi itu.. Ini adalah satu cabaran hidup yang akan mengambil masa yang panjang untuk dipulihkan..    

Sekali lagi mak cik Rose nak ingatkan pada semua kawan-kawan Sophie, Sara dan semua diluar sana, berhati-hatilah diluar sana. Ada terlalu banyak kecelakaan dan kejahatan yang kita mungkin tidak sedar menanti sebaik saja kita melangkah keluar dari rumah.
Tunjukkanlah rasa hormat kita terhadap kedua orangtua dengan berbuat baik kepada mereka kerana ajal maut kita tidak akan diberitahu bila dan dimana.

Wassalam.
5hb.Jun '12

Hello everyone!
I wish to share a sad news today about the tragic death of three teenage girls aged 16 and 17. It seemed one of them had a little misunderstanding with her dad. She went off on her motorbike and, from what I heard, bumped into the other 2 girls somewhere near her place. All three of them ride on that motorbike without helmet (which is compulsory). They were ran over by a passenger van which was coming from opposite direction. The girls beat the red light and...a few minutes later they were dead.They were dragged about 20 meters away from the exact location.It happened at about 11:30pm the time when children were supposed to be at home either sleeping or going through their homework.
One of these girls lived just a few doors away from me.My daughter went to the same school as they were. Even though they were not the best of chums, the tragic news did sent shivers down the spine. It happened yesterday night (3rd.June'12) and it gave a deep impact towards anybody who had children of their own.

It is something normal for parents to reprimand their children for any matters of which they feel necessary to meddle with, whereas the kids would take it from their own perspective. They thought those pep talks were either,boring, dominating or a plain pain to their ears. Kids are dead wrong when it comes to love, parental love. They don't know to what great extend or length would a parents go when it comes to protecting their broods.They don't know that we,parents, would still worry about them even in their sleep. They don't know that we will protect them with our lives if the needs ever arose.

They may never thought that we'd be willing to trade  places should they were to be in any kind of  sicknesses they may develop anytime within their lives.
Our children's lives can never be measured with wealth even in today's materialistic standard. Parents love is pure. Simple as that.

To our children, wherever or whoever you may be, try to understand whatever parents do, they do it for a word called love. There wouldn't be any sane parents who'd be willing to carry the body of their children's to the graveyard. By nature's law, it should be the other way round. The grief that we feel towards the death of our friends or acquaintances are not the same compared to the misery the parents were going through.
Just imagine after the funeral is over, it's time to go home.This is the time when the loss of the child hit home. Her smell that still lingers, her favourite food, how she looks when she is upset and the list goes on. These thought alone will take a long time to heal.

So, kids, be careful once you step out from home as there were too many crimes,wickedness or plain bad luck. Show some love and respect towards your parents while they are still alive. Never would we know, where, when or how death is coming to invite us.
Stay nice and that's a cool thing to do. It will never went out of fashion.